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13th April 2024 10:32 am

“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries."

A glance through the news and a no-brainer punt

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I glance through today’s papers and I find myself in despair at being the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me a bad person, or just mad?

  • Naomi Osaka won’t win. A broader debate will follow. Somebody will use the words “white”, “middle-aged”, and “male” out of context and irrelevantly. Prince Harry will join in or maybe Megan or maybe both – it will depend on their sponsorship agreements.
  • China’s new 3-child policy gives you the rough date for the commencement of their global land-grab, WWIII starts on June 1st 2040 – what else can you do with 40bn conscripts!
  • Boris Johnson’s nuptials has lost an estimated 2m votes from a broad church of fundamentalist Catholics, wedding planners, Dominic Cummings supporters who regard Carrie as the spawn of Satan, and Jacinta-Marigold’s Mum and Dad who have cancelled her wedding four times now and have had to sell the Llamas that were going to pull her carriage up the High Street.
  • There is as much chance of the panjandrums of the Health Industry giving up power on June 21st as I have of swimming the Atlantic next Thursday. The easiest bet of the year. It will be delayed until at least July 28th. This is because the Indian variant has got a grip. Why? Because HMG didn’t. Why? Because the powers that be will not confront the elephants in the room. That elephant was actually seen in Soho this week when a Vax-Bus was advertised as offering free vaccines to anyone – with no ID, no names, no nothing – and 20,000 people turned up in Chinatown.

  • There will be no Vaccine Passports organised by The Government. This goes hand in hand with cancelling/delaying June 21st, because the question remains, what was the point of the jabs, if I have still lost the freedoms I had in October 2019? However – and inevitably- I still believe that it will be the Insurance companies who drive the global introduction of The VaxPas.
  • Matt Hancock will be ennobled in the next six months. Or “Gone” as some people call it.
  • That smug and very irritating doctor who presented Embarrassing Bodies, Christian Jessen, has discovered that picking a fight with a Northern Irish Protestant matriarch, is absolutely no different than taking the pin from a grenade and dropping the explosive down your trousers.  His stupidity alone should see him examined by a competency board, as he is patently not a man of sound judgement.

Meanwhile, this little stat might help restore sanity …

Backing 2yos at Windsor in non-handicaps, who have had at least one run and who are clear favourite or joint-favourite with odds between Evens and 4/1 and who aren’t wearing head-gear, show an ROI on SP of 13%. Since 2003 there have only been 4 years when this was not profitable. Overall, we are up 43.9 points from 129 bets.

I shall be backing therefore

GENERAL PANIC in the 2:10 and ROBBIE ROGER in the 2:45.

I also fancy NELSON GAY in the 3:25 at Leicester who I spotted a couple of races ago and was surprised to see back out just seven days after his smart win in late April. A good month off and I think he has a chance here. Finally, in The Zetland Gold Cup at Redcar (4:40), I’m looking no further than the favourite MAKRAM

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