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24th July 2024 11:42 am

“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries."

The Results To Date (July’19 – May ’21)

It’s been a while since I did this exercise, but like everyone else, I’m blaming galloping inertia, the absence of incentives, my parents who failed to disassociate their pain, and a sense of predestined failure. Taking advantage of the downtime of site maintenance, I have entered every outcome as accurately as possible, and I am […]

Twenty Racing Tips, and a provable Profit

I feel the urge to spread my bonhomie around the minor counties and so later today I shall progress to Dorsetshire. I very much doubt that we shall see more than six people all weekend. A quiet supper on Friday, dinner on Saturday with a charming couple, perhaps Mass on Sunday at The Church of […]

Goodwood, The Results. Also Windsor, The Systems

Firstly, the Goodwood results. Based on an e/w bet of 1pt e/w, and a winning bet of 2pts to win, we turned over 120 pts. We also had 3 forecast bets for 10 pts. Our return was exactly 260.39 pts, or to put it another way, we doubled our money. We had six winning bets […]

Never ask “What can possibly go wrong?”, because Murphy will tell you!

I wept all the way to the bank yesterday, with frustration, fury and sorrow. If I am brutally honest, and as many of you will know I am an infinitely lazy bugger. A fading international boulevardier with a penchant for interesting stories, a knowledge of racing which infuriates and delights me in no small measure, […]

In the cold light of day – the weekend wasn’t a total disaster

I have finished grinding my teeth, and I sort of accept Frankie’s apology with his admission on Sunday, that he should have come 2nd. Saturday was a bit of a blur and my eye definitely came off the ball, as I was also running a near-£1k Sweepstake that was effectively paying 17/2 to the winner […]

Fred Archer’s four runners produced a great race.

Went the day well? It rained, it blew, Madame took the shears to the barnet, and the racing turned out to be way better than I had expected – indeed the Fred Archer turned out to be a proper race, where an early tussle possibly left the favourite shy of petrol at the finish and […]

Love is a many-splendored thing

What might we have learned at Newmarket last week? FAR ABOVE could be very good if he goes to The Prix L’Abbaye, where he will almost certainly get the damp ground he prefers, despite spanking 11 others in The Place House Stakes. Does KAMEKO get 10f or 12f? My guess is he’s quite likely to […]

An unbalanced world around the racing

A terribly sad and worrying note from my chum Thomm in St Pauls, Minneapolis who lives in what might be considered akin to the Sloane Square end of Chelsea. In fact, it is less than 2 miles from where the police started this whole ghastly business and Thomm’s description of the last 72 hours makes […]

Astonishing how a few winners bucks up the soul

Well, that actually went pretty well. We saw a couple of decent maidens and marked some notebook performances; we had a couple of decent results and – thanks entirely to Alex “But-er” Hammond, we discovered after the first that they had harrowed the Tapeta very deep and the ground was running soft. Sadly I didn’t […]

Crikey – Raceweb fails to show a profit at Cheltenham! Who knew

I’m wondering whether to get a decent webcam so that I can contribute to important face-time remote meetings, looking serious, full of wisdom and yet somehow avuncular. My concern is that no webcam is going to give me the look of a George Clooney offering Madame a cafe au lit. (yes I can spell). Aside […]

A profitable weekend, but more importantly Nicholls kept a good ‘un.

A cracking day’s racing, where we did well at Ascot and dismally at Haydock. It was astonishing that the racing went ahead at all, and well done the ground staff and on-the-day course men who kept things in place and battened down. In line with our policy of accurately reporting our results, we carry forward […]

Sometimes despair is an underrated word.

The brief version of Saturday’s diary was: Woke – Breakfast – Form – More Form – Watch Racing – Bath (as in water, not the little spa racecourse) – Theatre – Dinner – Sleep. The eight words intervening between Woke – Dinner – Sleep, really cannot do justice to the desultory nature of the day. […]

Good Moaning, here is the good news and the end of civilisation

As you might guess, the ceaseless whining of Woke spokespeople, has driven me insane. I seem to be constantly reminded that I am not wearing my hair shirt (only available from Sackcloth and Ashes, tailors to the Liberal Elite and Champagne Socialist Party), while adenoidal pimples, rub their televisual hands together and invite us to […]

The Results for 2020 to date

We all know someone who never had a loser, some genius whose every betting account had been closed and now was only allowed to bet in 50p maximums. We, on the other hand, are determined, to be honest about our endeavours. Thus we produce these occasional reports. We started with a Carry Forward Balance of […]

The results from last Saturday

As we rush headlong to being unable to have a bet because it is not a carbon-neutral activity and where horses will only be able to race if they are powering a wind-generator, it was refreshing to find that our efforts to date have not been entirely fruitless. Not profitable, but at a loss of […]


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