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I’m too lethargic for ennui

Capt. Kneesup

Capt. Kneesup

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Something is amiss in the life of Kneesup. I have been trying to become enthused by The Ryder Cup, and the probable massacre by the USA of our plucky European brethren. Nope – Nada. Am I enthused by The Cambridgeshire? No, not really. The County Championship? Warwick? Oh good. Probably. Formula 1 and The Russian Grand Prix? Which will probably be run in a monsoon? A race that could easily see Verstappen parking his car again on top of Hamilton’s Mercedes, get out and then assault him with a spanner? Not really interested thanks.

Perhaps it’s the fact that my keyboard isn’t working properly, my eyes are playing tricks on me, as though cataracts had returned. a burn on my finger has blistered, refuses to heal and irritates mercilessly. The peripheral neuropathy now needs something to take the edge off, and yesterday I tried wearing a compression sock, having listened to Dr Google. Apart from ricking my back trying to put the damned thing on, I then had to put a sock over that to pair with the other – all in the cause of wearing a suit for the first time in months. This suiting and very sweaty right foot, was in order to attend a memorial service in which the words admired and respected and honoured were like confetti, but Love seemed thinly used. I found that sad. By contrast, I went to a pre-Tatts sales parade and saw millions of pounds of horse flesh loved for what it was, here a proud mother leading her baby, there a kid with an attitude, followed by a hardened campaigner, who has won thousands for his grateful owners. They might sell they might not, but they were individually loved for what they were, graceful, sleek, gangly, proud. Then the stud owner came by with the new love of her life, a new three-month-old Lab puppy, who nuzzled all and loved without condition.

The BHA appears to have the same CK lethargy running through it at the moment. Perhaps it has lacked leadership, perhaps it needs to rekindle it’s enthusiasm, perhaps it needs to take a break. I bumped into the grand Ol’Opera trainer, Mrs Main, who tells me she intends carrying on making the point that fining trainers for jockey misdemeanours is unfair. In case you don’t know the story, in essence and some time ago, The BHA took The King James version of The Rules of Racing and made it more “accessible.” In other words, they changed entire meanings and legal positions and undid the work of centuries, because the people who made these amendments (which is what they effectively were), weren’t very good at their job or suffered from “Icouldnotbearsedtodoitproperlyitis”, an increasingly common side-effect of Covid_19, bought about by paying people to do rock-all at home for 18 months. What Mork and Mindy did in the new Racing Rules was remove reference to the trainers, because they assumed “everyone understands that.” Now, as was found at a hearing the other day, [a] it needs to be specific because if you intend to punish a trainer, then the law must refer to a trainer and [b] it runs the risk of being unenforceable on Human Rights grounds. By all means, disqualify the horse if a jockey weighs in light – quite right. The horse may not have won on merit,  but rather weightlessness. By all means, stand the jockey down – although it is starting to get trickier so to do. But fine the trainer? No

I am also awaiting details from my sources about an alleged suspension of five stipendiary stewards. Rumour has it and I am happy for the BHA to correct me, that at one disciplinary interview that took place, it was revealed, that the reason for Bloggs interview. was a fellow employee had accused him of having overly-long fingernails. Again, and allegedly, two of the five are on sick leave as their mental health has suffered as a result of the BHA’s handling of this strange affair. I can easily foresee that these suspensions will have caused a shortage of staff and that many stewards are having to work overtime. Perhaps they are doing it all be Zoom and Drones? Perhaps the BHA intends to outsource stewarding to some new PFI operation that will handle discipline and the integrity of racing. Perhaps they will take a leaf from the French, who are gradually shutting down their colonial or overseas military operations. In Mali, frightened by the prospect of having no Gendarmes or Legion Etrangere to keep the peace, the Malian military junta have turned to The Wagner Group, to keep the peace. I imagine this russian mercenary company (or Russian Ministry of Defence as it sometimes known in Moscow) is something like the UK’s highly effective Control Risks – but on steroids.

Let’s hire them to do stewarding. “Sorry Mr Trainer, your horse tested positive and is now supporting the pet industry.” “Sorry Jockey Bloggs, we saw you using your mobile in a restricted area. We do hope you like salt, becaue you’ll be mining it for the next 20 years.”

Talking of problems……..

ALPINIST, the Lancashire Oaks winner, will again appear in Germany on Sunday, carrying Ms Rausing’s green and white colours in Cologne’s 59th Preis von Europa a 12f G1. Off 2:35 Can’t be beaten on my book

1:50 NEWMARKET Juddmonte Royal Lodge Stakes (Group 2) (Colts & Geldings) Cl1 (2yo) 1m

MASKELA Win

2:05 HAYDOCK Betway Handicap Cl2 (3yo+ 0-105) 1m

NUGGET Win (Keep an aye on AFAAK in the market)

2:25 NEWMARKET Juddmonte Cheveley Park Stakes (Group 1) (Fillies) Cl1 (2yo) 6f

SACRED BRIDGE Win

2:40 HAYDOCK Heed Your Hunch At Betway Handicap Cl2 (3yo+ 0-105) 5f

MOUNTAIN PEAK e/w – LIHOU e/w

3:00 NEWMARKET Juddmonte Middle Park Stakes (Group 1) (Colts) Cl1 (2yo) 6f

PERFECT POWER Win – HMS ENDEAVOUR e/w

3:40 NEWMARKET bet365 Cambridgeshire Handicap (Heritage Handicap) Cl2 (3yo+) 1m1f

CHICHESTER Win – LUCANDER e/w – INDEED e/w

RYDER CUP

DAY 2 Europe to Win at 5/2

DAY 3 Europe to win at 11/5

RUSSIAN GRAND PRIX

MAX VERSTAPPEN Top 3 Finish 11/5

MAX VERSTAPPEN to win 11/1

ANTHONY JOSHUA FIGHT

Fight ends Round 10-12 11/2 with Paddy Power

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