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Lord Tissue of Reputation in Tattersalls offers an apology…

Capt. Kneesup

Capt. Kneesup

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Recently it has become obvious that our reputation here at Raceweb Towers for providing honest and scrupulously researched racing tips, political opinions, and other racing-related material has been tainted by a series of corporate failures. Unbeknownst to me as the Chief Executive in the days before my much-deserved ennoblement, it transpires that we did not develop any form of rigorous oversight or adequate monitoring of the methodologies employed by some of our journalists, not least the work of Captain Kneesup, our former Zoroastrianism correspondent. I investigated this fully at the time and believed Kneesup when he said “Not Me Guv”. This has all led to the current situation, which has caused severe mental anguish and consternation in the Pensions department of Raceweb’s HR office.

We now accept that much of Kneesup work, might possibly, albeit deniably, have actually been based on forged information obtained from a man in the local pub. Let me make it absolutely clear, that the man in the pub was never employed by us, and that throughout this episode, which occurred many, many days ago, whilst Kneesup thought he had my personal, unwritten-never-stated support, in his desire to earn plaudits and awards including Pulitzers and Baftas for our his work, that was never the case. It is simply not the way we operate here. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise unreservedly to all those people who have always thought Raceweb unbiased and principled, when in fact we are entirely biased and unprincipled in our search for truth – which our charter insists we present.

Under our “Fresh Starts For Old Lags” policy, Capt. Kneesup has been temporarily reinstated on half-pay of £150,000 pa.

SEE BELOW FOR CAPT KNEESUP’s LATEST TIPS.

Dominic Barnard-Castle: An Apology

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly state that I was present in the pub when Kneesup stated publically (in the pub), that unless he got a winning tip “we were all *******”. I was wrong at the time not to do anything about it, but frankly, I was simply too important to fail. I believed that if I could get someone else to write Kneesup’s copy, we might just survive the undoubted ****-storm that would embrace Lord Tissue. That man shouldn’t be where he is and I remember strongly advising both Paddy Power and William Hill not to attach any importance to what Kneesup said. None of this was my fault, but I would like to apologise sincerely for any misunderstanding there might have been, that I had anything to do with any of it.

CAPT. KNEESUP An Apology:

I totally refute the allegation that the tips I give, were forged by a man in a pub who I never met on sixteen separate occasions. Also, throughout the entire pandemic, the Raceweb team has made no attempts to win any Government contracts to supply racing tips. These contracts, which are referred to in Government circles as “Prince Harrys”, are contracts to supply very little for zero input and often for six figures sums. I have never had enough money to afford the application fee to the Ministers involved. That said, we didn’t have a bad week last week – punting-wise we were 15+pts up. The USPGA was a disappointment in some respects, but to see Phil “Lefty” Mickelson coming back to the fore was a joy. He has always been a role model for generally keeping his cool and generally trying to be pleasant – but never failing to give his all at each ball address. Paul Casey gave us a little money back, but we were never in a position to green out entirely. For that, I apologise.

Talking of ongoing losses, here are today’s tips.

1:45 HAYDOCK Betway Hcap Cl3 (4yo+ 0-95) 6f 16 Run

Today is a really tricky day and this race represents that with at least six on my shortlist. HELVEZIA looks to have a nice weight and was down in my book to run over 1f further in the John of Gaunt. This implies he’ll find this easier, and he gets Frankie on board. HYPERFOCUS has won here three times before over the distance and on my pace chart, he looks as though he’ll take the lead with AIR RAID and BIELSA close up. The latter benefits from having Silvestre de Sousa, The King of the front-runners on top. BERNARDO O’REILLY is on a winning mark and also gets a useful 5lbs from his jock. He looked to be striking form and barely needed tapping to get going late LTO. I think I’ve mentioned the winner but I’m backing

HELVEZIA Win – BERNARDO O’REILLY e/w

2:00 BEVERLEY Hilary Needler Trophy Fillies’ Cond Stks Cl2 (2yo) 5f 11 Run

A couple of newcomers, a brae from Karl Burke and a phalanx of second-timers. What could possibly go wrong? Of those with a run, KYBER CRYSTAL had a tough debut and performed with credit. If she’s improved she must go close. My eye was taken by the form line for KODIAS SANGARIUS – PU, which is nothing if not unusual. This seems a long way to come for a duffer – even a Hannon duffer.  Another outsider is GUILDED who found 6f to be way too far for her on debut. Back to five and having shown some esprit if not elan, she must be in the mix.

KODIAS SANGARIUS e/w – GUILDED e/w 2 x ½pt RFC with KODIAS CRYSTAL

2:20 HAYDOCK Betway Achilles Stakes (Listed Race) Cl1 (3yo+) 5f 12 Run

I think you could safely lay KING’S LYNN as a favourite in this, having been beaten ¾l by EL ASTRONAUTE LTO on the grounds that KL was all over the shop when coming under pressure and EA barely moved in the lead. I had him good for at least 4l that day and the adjusted weights won’t cover that. That said I’m not sure EA wins either, and favour instead ALJADY who has just enough class to win this. Not a Group horse – but this doesn’t look like a Group standard race.

 ALJADY e/w

2:40 CHESTER tote+ Pays You More At tote.co.uk Hcap Cl2 (4yo+ 0-105) 7½f 12 Run

I have a sneaking fear that Kevin Ryan might be plotting with HEY JONESY, but otherwise, the first three in the betting all make perfect sense. Based on the draw and his run LTO I’m going for…

EJTILAAB Win – HEY JONESY e/w

2:55 HAYDOCK Betway Pinnacle Stakes (G3) (Fillies & Mares) Cl1 (4yo+) 1m4f 6 Run

On this ground, you have to fancy CABALETTA who went into a number of notebooks on her seasonal debut second to QUEEN POWER in the Middleton. First-time blinkers are fitted to keep her sharp and this G3 is well within her grasp.

CABALETTA Win

3:10 BEVERLEY bet365 Continental Two Year Old Trophy Cond Stks Cl2 (2yo) 5f 6 Run

STRAITS OF MOYLE gets a small but crucial weight allowance, here and looks possible value.

STRAITS OF MOYLE Win

3:30 HAYDOCK Betway John Of Gaunt Stakes (G3) Cl1 (4yo+) 7f 9 Run

There’s some decent form in this race and it is probably between WITH THANKS and SAFE VOYAGE, who won this in 2019. SAFE VOYAGE has form figures of 5r – 4w -1p over C&D and has won after a break. Of the two I fancy SAFE VOYAGE more. However, I’m looking for a payday from RIVER NYMPH and with Clive Cox showing a profit here with all his runners, a decent draw and a price around 7s, I think I’m safe going e/w and putting SAFE VOYAGE in a saver forecast

RIVER NYMPH e/w – 1pt RFC with SAFE VOYAGE

3:45 BEVERLEY bet365 Hcap Cl3 (3yo+ 0-95) 7½f 12 Run

QUEEN’S SARGENT is being backed like a good thing from 11/1 last night to 6/1 this morning. Consistent over distance and ground, my only concern is weight.

QUEENS SARGENT Win

NOT ON TV

4:05 Haydock – Read Andrew Balding On Betway Insider Handicap
SIR BENEDICT looks the wrong price at 9/1

SIR BENEDICT e/w

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