We had another 20/1 winner on Wednesday and got chinned on the line with Random Harvest who I could not believe remained stubbornly available at 20/1+ despite being at level weights with the third-placed favourite. I simply lumped more on – but stupidly did not think to back it with the field in an Exacta. Still, another profitable day will not go amiss after the ruinous cock-up today.

Having arrived on the course, I placed my tablet on the car roof whilst I struggled into Frockcoat and then grabbed my stick and Champagne and headed over to the most delicious Lunch in a Box. From small bangers to egg somethings, to what my mother called bridge rolls, cheesiest cheese straws, and huge amounts of Salmon and Pol Roger, it was a proper racing lunch.  As I thanked my hosts and headed off to bag a seat in the Club in the shade, the tablet made its absence felt. After enquiries, the lunch party established the likely journey of my electronic lifeline, but the driver was already gone. Luckily Kneesup Towers provides me with Google, so I could see via the tiny screen on my mobile, the tablet’s winking transponder somewhere on the A329. This all worked fine until the latter switched itself off or was run over, or was picked up by someone.

So I am rudderless, adrift, sans research, sans passwords, sans betting accounts, sans cookbooks, sans everything.

Today is not the day to point out the many woeful inadequacies of the Ascot UI over the last two days, but perhaps someone could explain the Ascot Tote to me, which appears to be run on a one-for-me, none-for-you basis. More later, but not before we explore further the concept of woefully inadequate.

Thursday 22nd June

14:30 Norfolk Stks (G2) (2yo, C1, 5f, 0 run)

ELITE STATUS is another Karl Burke 2yo is 2/2 including a Listed win LTO. He destroyed a quality field in the Listed National Stakes at Sandown and the performance suggested [a] there was more to come and [b] he is probably the best juvenile sprinter we have seen this year.

ELITE STATUS 6 pts Win – MOCHE MAGIC 2 pts e/w

15:05 King George V Stks (Heritage Hcap) (3yo, C2, 1m 3f 211y, 0 run)

BURGLAR 4 pts Win – MISTER MISTOFFELEES 1½pts e/w

15:40 Ribblesdale Stks (G2) (3yo, C1, 1m 3f 211y, 79 run)

AL ASIFAH should hose this, so I’m looking elsewhere for some value. We have made money from MAMAN JOON in the past and a couple of points e/w based entirely on some small encouragement by Hannon the other evening, will encourage me.

MAMAN JOON 2 pts e/w

16:20 Gold Cup (G1) (4yo+, C1, 2m 3f 210y, 25 run)

COLTRANE and ELDAR ELDAROV deserve to be at the head of affairs, but the latter is drifting like a leg’s come off. I would have suggested him if he’s no bigger than 9/2. Bigger than that, leave him alone. Yibir has the best form in the race and a lot depends on him getting the distance.

ELDAR ELDAROV 5 pts Win – YIBIR 2 pts e/w

17:00 Britannia Stks Heritage Hcap (3yo, C2, 1m, 0 run)

SAXON KING 2 pts e/w – BLESS 3 pts e/w – QUANTUM IMPACT 4 pts Win – FORT VEGA 2 pts e/w

17:35 Hampton Court Stks (G3) (3yo, C1, 1m 1f 212y, 0 run)

WAIPIRO 4 pts e/w – CANBERRA LEGEND 2 pts e/w

18:10 Buckingham Palace Stks Hcap (3yo+, C2, 7f, 0 run)

ACCIDENTAL AGENT 1 pt e/w – MONTASSIB 2 pts e/w