Cheltenham Open
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
… shall think themselves mighty relieved they don’t have to do another day, fighting the Cheltenham Parking Gauleiters who surely should be considered a potential
Cheltenham
Weekend Racing Tips
And so it begins
A dreadful week. I have been told not to write against stupidity, moral grandstanding, the pernicious growth of anti-semitism, virtue signalling, the ludicrous fear of
Weekend Racing Tips
The final review of Cheltenham – and today’s racing tips
The executive summary to a review of The Cheltenham NH Festival 2023 – were anyone to ask me for an opinion – would be thus:
Cheltenham March
CHELTENHAM DAY 4
We popped into The Tent to see chums and to apologise for The Hon’s picture appearing in the Daily Mail. The place was awash with
Cheltenham March
CHELTENHAM DAY 2
We returned from the jolly lunch to find a note from an old friend to say that she had found herself at a loose end
Weekend Racing Tips
Dum di dum di dum di dum…
Once upon a time, a long while ago, I was staying with my cuz in Middle Wallop, where he was with the Army Air Corps,
Weekend Racing Tips
Please God – a jolly Saturday at Cheltenham
As I write this, there is still every chance that some, none, or all of the racing might be abandoned. If only bad weather could
Tips
Will they, won’t they, will they… they will… racing is on today at Cheltenham
Luckily for the developed world, the only public service that is working efficiently is Netflix, and we are thus able to see, hear and emote
Weekend Racing Tips
Cheltenham November – not Open – Meeting Day 2
I was pulled up by a Cheltenham Grandee today when I exclaimed how much I was looking forward to the first day of The Open.
Weekend Racing Tips
The Handmaid’s tipping sheet
I arrive, as ever, late to the party and so am finally able to say “Lumme. That Margaret Attwood and her Handmaid’s Tale. Bleak? …
Weekend Racing Tips
A new exciting national PM Hunt season gets under way
We live in a world where it is increasingly difficult not to have some major cause for unsettling angst. Penury, hypothermia, dehydration, pandemic, nuclear war,
Just a thought
So farewell Cheltenham…
Just one more day of potentially impactful racing at the home of NH racing, for which I have just two tips. The purists amongst you
Tips
Welcome to The Twilight Zone
I have this vision of hundreds of people around the country, wandering around in their Jim Jams and dressing gowns, shuffling from fridge to kettle
Cheltenham March
The Last Post of Cheltenham
There was a moment on Thursday when the Kneesup world took a definitive turn for the worse. Not the excessive prices that Cheltenham has been
Cheltenham March
Cheltenham Thursday St Patrick’s Day
I have just read some unutterable drivel that suggests that the Turners Novice Chase, while not totally brilliant with only the four horses competing in
Cheltenham March
Cheltenham Ladies Day – Wednesday
A very jolly lunch with racing and pointing folk. Our host has of late become increasingly deaf, and lives in a world where TVs are
Cheltenham March
Cheltenham Day 1
No time for chit chat. I’m building a website for a charity; I’ve got an environmental campaign to put together; I’ve just come back from
Cheltenham March
Feast or Famine? It’s not just at Cheltenham.
I wondered this week, at what point the Labour front-bench might overcome their oft-absent scruples and walk out of the chamber en masse in order
Weekend Racing Tips
There are moments when tis wise to stay shtum
I don’t know about you gentle readers, but about every six weeks, the old fleas start to scratch and you know it’s time for the
Tips
They’re Off!
What Ho and a “Crikey” and a “View Halloa” as the National Hunt season breaks cover for the first time this year. Of course, I
Cheltenham March
Newmarket 3 Cheltenham 2
The tips for today’s TV racing are here. Very brief. Will explain more tomorrow.
Cheltenham March
At Last – Some Irish Craic
I am aware that many of the Trends in this section are negative, but I hope will allow the reader to avoid backing horses that
Cheltenham March
Of Course you can – but not that Course and not here
This trend continues the theme of horses that are unlikely to win, based on their last race. In this case, they have had the misfortune
Cheltenham March
Stick to what you know.
As you might expect, when you’re digging in dark statistical corners, you occasionally unearth a shard of old pottery which makes you understand that the
Cheltenham March
Give it a rest
As with so many of us, there are a finite number of miles on the clock and even the most elite of elite athletes will
Cheltenham March
Show some form
FACT: Since 2003, there have been 92 Grade 1 Festival Races. 76 of those races were contested by horses that had completed their races but
Cheltenham March
Older yes, Wiser perhaps, Winners hmmm
FACT: There have been 389 Class 1 races at the Festival, (Grade 1,2,3 and Listed) since 2003. 124 of those races have had 230 horses
Just a thought
This week I ‘ave been mostly studying blockchains
Much like the Fast Show’s Jesse, he of the notorious diets and wardrobe of filthy muck-spreading clothes, I feel mentally dishevelled – and I blame
Uncategorized
Sky Bet Supreme Novices’ Hurdle
RACE TRENDS: The following profile would have found the last 10 winners and 14 of the possible 23 winners since 1998. Since that date, there
Tips
Oh, to be at Chelty now that winter’s here
The week has not gone quite as well as one could hope. Nil By Mouth on Day 1, followed on Day 2 by one of
Tips
Sloshing around at Cheltenham for the final day of The Open
It is one thing to call the weather spot on, but jeepers the TV pictures by the time 4:00 pm arrived were enough to make
Tips
Cheltenham Day 2 – All the tips for here and ITV Racing
Yesterday was close, but no coconuts, although there was a huge amount of cheering here at the Chateau D’If for Beau de Brizais, who opened
Tips
I shall miss Tim and all our chums at Cheltenham
The week started badly with news that Tim Hales had died. He was the father of one of my “fingers-of-one-hand” best friends, and probably one
Tips
Cheltenham Day 2 and the last gasps of the Flat
A dreadful start to the new season yesterday, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll get my “jumping eye” in soon. I have spent a
Tips
Cheltenham – The first day of the new season
A great chum called me this week to tell me the exciting, indeed brilliant news, that he had had a 40/1 winner in Ireland. He
Cheltenham Day 4 – Staying alive, staying alive
It’s getting increasingly difficult to tell between exhaustion, alcohol poisoning, and some ghastly virus passed on by an itinerant back-slapping, celebrating Irishman. I was, on
CHELTENHAM 2020 DAY FOUR – Quick and Dirty from The Pharoah of Galway
1.30 TRIUMPH HURDLE ALLMANKIND 2PTS WIN A WAVE OF THE SEA 1PT E/W 2.10 COUNTY HURDLE ADJALI 1PT E/W STOLEN SILVER 1PT E/W OAKLEY 1PT
DAY 3 CHELTENHAM. Nearly out of hand-wash……
Exhausted. Surely this punishment can’t go on. Together with some 50,000 of my closest friends, I have chosen to self-isolate this week in a marquee
DAY 2 WEDNESDAY – CHELTENHAM: CHAMPION CHASE DAY
Well, a tough first day, where we really can’t make any excuses. The Pharoah of Galway suggested decent performances from KILDISART – HONEYSUCKLE – IMPERIAL
Cheltenham 2020. Surely we’re sunk if the future is cinq.
Over the last 96 hours, I have sacrificed the remaining parts of my working anatomy to your collective cause. I have dined with Nicky Henderson
Coronavirus, Corvid19, and Saturday’s TV Racing – All you need to know.
The most novel thing about COVID-19, is the extraordinary speed with which the brutish symptoms of the associated #MEFIRST culture have spread. Aided by 4G,
Festival Trials day and all Saturday’s TV races
I suppose as race titles go, the 1:50 isn’t at all bad, given that it tells us exactly how much time we have to wait
The weekend rolls on
I’m quite relieved to be socially unattached today. My TV and a roaring planet-destroyer are calling with Racing, EuroFooty, Grand Prix and maybe even a
A Soggy Saturday
I had every intention of providing the tips for TV racing today when I started. Then I noticed two races from Lingfield snuggled among the
Saturday Revisions over Eggs, Bacon…
What a truly cracking start to a miserable day! However, with the TV schedule amended and the going deepening, I have reviewed the situation, as
Saturday’s TV Selections…
Not a desperate set of results on Friday and only really let down by the ground, fitness, speed, ability, horsemanship and skills of the participants
The first day of the new season
Twice in ten days, I have found myself in London town, and again a young person has drunk a Fernet Branca in my presence. It
Capt. Knees back in the fold
I am delighted to announce that I shall be taking my annual holiday on Georgia, counting the Penguins and ensuring that the ice in my
