
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
… shall think themselves mighty relieved they don’t have to do another day, fighting the Cheltenham Parking Gauleiters who surely should be considered a potential
… shall think themselves mighty relieved they don’t have to do another day, fighting the Cheltenham Parking Gauleiters who surely should be considered a potential
A dreadful week. I have been told not to write against stupidity, moral grandstanding, the pernicious growth of anti-semitism, virtue signalling, the ludicrous fear of
The executive summary to a review of The Cheltenham NH Festival 2023 – were anyone to ask me for an opinion – would be thus:
We popped into The Tent to see chums and to apologise for The Hon’s picture appearing in the Daily Mail. The place was awash with
We returned from the jolly lunch to find a note from an old friend to say that she had found herself at a loose end
Once upon a time, a long while ago, I was staying with my cuz in Middle Wallop, where he was with the Army Air Corps,
As I write this, there is still every chance that some, none, or all of the racing might be abandoned. If only bad weather could
Luckily for the developed world, the only public service that is working efficiently is Netflix, and we are thus able to see, hear and emote
I was pulled up by a Cheltenham Grandee today when I exclaimed how much I was looking forward to the first day of The Open.
I arrive, as ever, late to the party and so am finally able to say “Lumme. That Margaret Attwood and her Handmaid’s Tale. Bleak? …
We live in a world where it is increasingly difficult not to have some major cause for unsettling angst. Penury, hypothermia, dehydration, pandemic, nuclear war,
Just one more day of potentially impactful racing at the home of NH racing, for which I have just two tips. The purists amongst you
I have this vision of hundreds of people around the country, wandering around in their Jim Jams and dressing gowns, shuffling from fridge to kettle
There was a moment on Thursday when the Kneesup world took a definitive turn for the worse. Not the excessive prices that Cheltenham has been
I have just read some unutterable drivel that suggests that the Turners Novice Chase, while not totally brilliant with only the four horses competing in
A very jolly lunch with racing and pointing folk. Our host has of late become increasingly deaf, and lives in a world where TVs are
No time for chit chat. I’m building a website for a charity; I’ve got an environmental campaign to put together; I’ve just come back from
I wondered this week, at what point the Labour front-bench might overcome their oft-absent scruples and walk out of the chamber en masse in order
I don’t know about you gentle readers, but about every six weeks, the old fleas start to scratch and you know it’s time for the
What Ho and a “Crikey” and a “View Halloa” as the National Hunt season breaks cover for the first time this year. Of course, I
The tips for today’s TV racing are here. Very brief. Will explain more tomorrow.
I am aware that many of the Trends in this section are negative, but I hope will allow the reader to avoid backing horses that
This trend continues the theme of horses that are unlikely to win, based on their last race. In this case, they have had the misfortune
As you might expect, when you’re digging in dark statistical corners, you occasionally unearth a shard of old pottery which makes you understand that the
As with so many of us, there are a finite number of miles on the clock and even the most elite of elite athletes will
FACT: Since 2003, there have been 92 Grade 1 Festival Races. 76 of those races were contested by horses that had completed their races but
FACT: There have been 389 Class 1 races at the Festival, (Grade 1,2,3 and Listed) since 2003. 124 of those races have had 230 horses
Much like the Fast Show’s Jesse, he of the notorious diets and wardrobe of filthy muck-spreading clothes, I feel mentally dishevelled – and I blame
RACE TRENDS: The following profile would have found the last 10 winners and 14 of the possible 23 winners since 1998. Since that date, there
The week has not gone quite as well as one could hope. Nil By Mouth on Day 1, followed on Day 2 by one of
It is one thing to call the weather spot on, but jeepers the TV pictures by the time 4:00 pm arrived were enough to make
Yesterday was close, but no coconuts, although there was a huge amount of cheering here at the Chateau D’If for Beau de Brizais, who opened
The week started badly with news that Tim Hales had died. He was the father of one of my “fingers-of-one-hand” best friends, and probably one
A dreadful start to the new season yesterday, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll get my “jumping eye” in soon. I have spent a
A great chum called me this week to tell me the exciting, indeed brilliant news, that he had had a 40/1 winner in Ireland. He
It’s getting increasingly difficult to tell between exhaustion, alcohol poisoning, and some ghastly virus passed on by an itinerant back-slapping, celebrating Irishman. I was, on
1.30 TRIUMPH HURDLE ALLMANKIND 2PTS WIN A WAVE OF THE SEA 1PT E/W 2.10 COUNTY HURDLE ADJALI 1PT E/W STOLEN SILVER 1PT E/W OAKLEY 1PT
Exhausted. Surely this punishment can’t go on. Together with some 50,000 of my closest friends, I have chosen to self-isolate this week in a marquee
Well, a tough first day, where we really can’t make any excuses. The Pharoah of Galway suggested decent performances from KILDISART – HONEYSUCKLE – IMPERIAL
Over the last 96 hours, I have sacrificed the remaining parts of my working anatomy to your collective cause. I have dined with Nicky Henderson
The most novel thing about COVID-19, is the extraordinary speed with which the brutish symptoms of the associated #MEFIRST culture have spread. Aided by 4G,
I suppose as race titles go, the 1:50 isn’t at all bad, given that it tells us exactly how much time we have to wait
I’m quite relieved to be socially unattached today. My TV and a roaring planet-destroyer are calling with Racing, EuroFooty, Grand Prix and maybe even a
I had every intention of providing the tips for TV racing today when I started. Then I noticed two races from Lingfield snuggled among the
What a truly cracking start to a miserable day! However, with the TV schedule amended and the going deepening, I have reviewed the situation, as
Not a desperate set of results on Friday and only really let down by the ground, fitness, speed, ability, horsemanship and skills of the participants
Twice in ten days, I have found myself in London town, and again a young person has drunk a Fernet Branca in my presence. It
I am delighted to announce that I shall be taking my annual holiday on Georgia, counting the Penguins and ensuring that the ice in my
“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.”
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