Cheltenham March
CHELTENHAM DAY 4
We popped into The Tent to see chums and to apologise for The Hon’s picture appearing in the Daily Mail. The place was awash with
Horseracing Tips
Cheltenham March
CHELTENHAM DAY 2
We returned from the jolly lunch to find a note from an old friend to say that she had found herself at a loose end
Cheltenham March
CHELTENHAM DAY 1: No more chanting yogic Uummms, it’s make-your-mind-up time!
This past weekend I spotted and wrote about a 17/2 winner (Dubai Station) that had the form of a donkey seen in a charity advert
Weekend Racing Tips
In the eye of the storm before the deluge.
We’re in the eye of Storm Dressdown, the calm epicentre of the surrounding torrent of hot-air and clashing reputations, where we have most of the
Weekend Racing Tips
You only get some bums visit once a year
A tiring but jolly and good Friday in town, where I attend the AGM and annual lunch of The Turf Automobile Society. This august body
Weekend Racing Tips
A snapshot of our times
What an exhausting week. By way of example and mindful as ever of this Government’s leadership of the nation, I spent yesterday trying to find
Weekend Racing Tips
Don’t let The Gambling Commission ruin your Cheltenham
Another shock retirement this week, with news that Tom Scudamore has called it a day after 25 years in the saddle and has yet to
Weekend Racing Tips
Welcome back to Johnny Rotten and a farewell to Hanmer
Sometime in late 1977, I ran a gaff in Camden Lock called Madisons, which ran the full length of the first floor of the Camden
Tips
Will they, won’t they, will they… they will… racing is on today at Cheltenham
Luckily for the developed world, the only public service that is working efficiently is Netflix, and we are thus able to see, hear and emote
Weekend Racing Tips
Cunning plans heaped upon cunning plans.
The torrid arguments about the future of racing continued apace this week. Various pointless assurances about its future have been uttered, and all of them
TV & Radio
Off to Longchamp via Warmington-on-Sea
As the weekend looms, it’s difficult to know how to divide one’s time. The TV alone will be providing: The Singapore Grand Prix (Sunday 1:00
F1
Like Meghan, I am blessed
As the world descends into chaos and the End of Days announces itself with a viral outbreak “of concern” in the Argentine, my week finishes
F1
The circus comes to town.
This week’s diary found me pinning a badge saying “I like Milk from Cows” on a small Ukrainian child. As you might imagine, my historical
York Ebor Meeting
York Day Three
A day full of mixed emotions. The exam results bode well for young Theocrates with two A* and an A. Does this get him into
F1
And so it begins….
There is a lot of pressure this week as we prepare for the builders to arrive and we also move into temporary offices. The Wifi
July Festival
Newmarket July Festival Day 3
A dreadful day at Newmarket for readers of this column where we lost two selections in a horrific on-track accident. Both TRIBAL ART and SUMMER’S
July Festival
Stand by to fend off all boarders: July Festival Day 2
The Hon. is diseased and I have run out the Yellow Jack to warn the bumboats, tinkers and itinerant matchstick sellers to stay away. I
Royal Ascot
Too Hot for fun
Apart from drinking tea, when the temperature heads this far north, we deploy the electric fan, my last punkah wallah having disappeared back to Wolverhampton
Royal Ascot
I might have taken too many steps – Ascot Day 3
A CORRECTION: The Cousin of Capt Smyly isn’t. She’s his Niece! Nice. He’ll be able to invite her to The Derby Dinner. I must admit
Royal Ascot
Smiles for Day 1 and onto Royal Ascot Day 2
What a marvellous day. I spent the morning in the company of one of the best jockeys of the last quarter of the 20th century
Golf Tips
Bad Manners, The US Open and Royal Ascot Day 1.
In the midst of all the Ascot preparations, the thinking, the calculations, the decisiveness and confidence, sadly coupled with the loss of all value perceptions
Epsom Derby
The 243rd Derby Day
I have captured a photograph of the great tipster Prince Monolulu who would stand on the Downs by the rails and shout to the crowd
Epsom Derby
The Derby Meeting – Oaks Friday
Overarching all that we do in these brief few days, the aura of Her Majesty’s presence shines out. From the top of White Horse Hill,
Golf Tips
The FA Cup, Golf and The Lockinge
They’re racing early tomorrow because of the FA Cup. For some reason, I had it in my head that the Cup was next weekend and
Dante Meeting
The Dante Meeting Day 1
It wasn’t a bad weekend for results, which started to bring us back towards the sunny uplands, and away from the Slough of Despond. We
Tips
Punchestown Day 3
Unlike other racing columns, this one is totally transparent in keeping its readers abreast of its own follies. Yesterday, and not to put too fine
Tips
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?
Showing a woeful grasp of history, the bollocks-sphere has rung with the mutterings of the illiterati, suggesting that the Bishops have no right to involve
Weekend Racing Tips
Well Done Peter O’Sullevan Lambourn Open Day
I don’t know about Middleham, but in lovely Lambourn, the sun hit some 20º, and the day was glorious. The streets were packed with thousands
Aintree GN
It’s Grand – but is it Cornish?
My day can be summarised by the outcome of the Aintree race at 4:40 pm, and my huge wager on STAG HORN. So appalled was
Aintree GN
You’re not allowed to say boo to the Goose
Editorial Note: No people died from Covid in the writing of this article and the author has recently tested negative – again. Even as Thor’s
F1
Race, kick, run, vroom vroom Sleep
If Cheltenham moves to five days, this is what this morning will feel like – except you’ll have to put your tweeds on, kick the
Cheltenham March
Cheltenham Thursday St Patrick’s Day
I have just read some unutterable drivel that suggests that the Turners Novice Chase, while not totally brilliant with only the four horses competing in
Cheltenham March
Cheltenham Day 1
No time for chit chat. I’m building a website for a charity; I’ve got an environmental campaign to put together; I’ve just come back from
Cheltenham March
Feast or Famine? It’s not just at Cheltenham.
I wondered this week, at what point the Labour front-bench might overcome their oft-absent scruples and walk out of the chamber en masse in order
Weekend Racing Tips
Cheltenham could be another Russian target!
There can’t be many occasions during the year when an enemy could inflict maximum damage on Blighty in a single strike. But if you wanted
Weekend Racing Tips
The Archers, The Camorra and North Korea
This last week I found myself moved by various snippets of writing that gave me unexpected pleasure. Among those was a small segment of The
Weekend Racing Tips
Sunday’s racing tips and the DRF
We managed to claw a bit back on Saturday and ended up +10.35pts. The Treble crashed out on the first leg but provided two odds-on
Weekend Racing Tips
Chinese prove that Claret fights Covid.
As I write, I discover Barry Cryer has died. I saw him on The Edinburgh Fringe many years ago, and the wave of affection and
Weekend Racing Tips
Better the devil you know…
It’s hard to know what to make of the nellies who constitute the lower orders on the Conservative backbenches. The Rt. Hon. Member for Frightfully-Cross
Weekend Racing Tips
Knickers to the Aga – and the Chinese spies
One of my favourite readers, Mrs Banshee from Kent, sent me a kindly and charming note outlining her concern at my Aga woes. The Aga,
Weekend Racing Tips
I bet I’m a better person by the end of the year!
Despite calling in sick for exactly 26 days, it turns out that the Lateral Flow Tests I used every seven days were all flawed, and
Weekend Racing Tips
It’s the little things that make one itch
Robert Duvall – possibly my favourite American film actor – once said: “It’s no big thing, but you make big things out of little things
Weekend Racing Tips
Going Free, Going Soon – Aga
The elephant in the room at Villa Kneesup, is the inherited double oven gas Aga that pumps out about the same heat as Chernobyl as
Weekend Racing Tips
Another Feast for the Family – unless you’re Welsh
How sad that Janice Long should die so young of something that always sounds so trifling, Pneumonia. One always rather thinks it is curable, manageable,
Weekend Racing Tips
Unlike Matt Hancock (so far), I have returned
As the great Dame Edna would say at the beginning of a new stage show, “Did you miss me Possums?” I know one reader who
Weekend Racing Tips
Crikey – is there nowhere the cameras won’t be today?
Three English racecourses, two jumps meeting, the final televised Flat Handicap Turf race (as I type I wonder whether that’s right?) of the 2021 season,
Weekend Racing Tips
Another nail in the coffin rather than the horseshoe.
I seem to spend a fair amount of time these days, accidentally drifting in and out of parallel universes. In this multiplicity of locations, 16
Weekend Racing Tips
There are moments when tis wise to stay shtum
I don’t know about you gentle readers, but about every six weeks, the old fleas start to scratch and you know it’s time for the
Weekend Racing Tips
QIPCO British Champions Day
A quiet lunch in East Garston, where I see the shoot wagon bringing in hungry souls all sporting long woollen socks and rather bizarrely in
Weekend Racing Tips
My loyalty has been discarded – along with the Gold Card.
Despite empty shelves, nobody apparently working, the collapse of Kabul, the changes to the NH handicapping system, the sale of the house, and a 15-week-old
