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21st April 2024 9:48 pm

“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries."

A jolly pub lunch – but for how much longer

I have to declare an interest… I eat and drink out at the drop of a hat. I also eat the hat if given half a chance. I have a long-term interest in ensuring that there are sufficient interesting places for me to eat and drink in – and I include you all by extension […]

Crikey – Omar Khayam was spot on.

Almost as soon as I put the typing digits back inside their silk gloves, the first of The Cap Backwards Boys stepped out under the Wimbledon roof and was gone. Another came and went, and although both players have assured futures, and are good-looking, with charming and athletic personalities, you just sense some wise owl […]

So farewell Sparkey – a proper chap

I had a coffee with Angus Lochrane, aka Statto, at Ascot the other day. He was the resident statistician on the BBC Two television show Fantasy Football League. You might remember him clad in a dressing gown and pyjamas as he stood in the corner of the set and provided facts and figures on each […]

The circus comes to town.

This week’s diary found me pinning a badge saying “I like Milk from Cows” on a small Ukrainian child. As you might imagine, my historical engagement with young children has been plagued by the conflict between my upbringing and the modern social mores. Young Vlad’s rudimentary English and his impeccable good manners prevented him from […]

But where do I put my Swan?

Just as I was about to send you some small note last Saturday on the weekend’s racing, The Hon Plantagenet dragged me away to give thanks for Lord Aged P’s 90th. This involved Lunch for 80 on Saturday and Drinks for 100 on Sunday, for which I was given a three-line whip. Even the standard […]

Newmarket July Festival Day 3

A dreadful day at Newmarket for readers of this column where we lost two selections in a horrific on-track accident. Both TRIBAL ART and SUMMER’S KNIGHT suffered terminal injuries in the Bet365 Trophy handicap. I won’t say any more, but I was already shouting at the screen before the accident, at the amount of scrimmaging […]

Stand by to fend off all boarders: July Festival Day 2

The Hon. is diseased and I have run out the Yellow Jack to warn the bumboats, tinkers and itinerant matchstick sellers to stay away. I have had to move a number of appointments, and cancel a Sunday lunch that would have had a range of very splendid wines served alongside delicious food. I have changed […]

The Newmarket July meeting – how cute.

As I sit at my desk, the summer idyll is only broken by the rolling TV news being broadcast into my office. The 1922 Committee is about to be called together, and at any moment I am expecting a call from No 10 as I become by accident, the last man standing in the Valley […]

It was ghastly and mawkish and I miss it

I saw most of the Olympics through the eyes of the BBC and mostly with Clare Balding and former-professional International footballer Alex Scott. Clare is so consistently, irritatingly good that it becomes something of a sport in itself, desperately focussing on whether she’ll commit some Private-Eye-worthy ColemanBalls. Given the 70+ hours of presenting that she […]

Newmarket Day 3 and the ITV races.

Not the most sparkling Friday, and I apologise. I think there are days when one is simply trying to over-deliver – certainly I overthought it. There was nothing among the winners that really surprised me, but I never even discussed them, and indeed I dismissed a number on the grounds of price rather than ability.  […]

Newmarket July Meeting Day 2

Yesterday’s Raceweb advisory was a tale of two halves. On the real and considered side of the equation, we were +4pts with a win and two decent places. Then in the second half I also referenced an amusing possible Ryan Moore Across the card “fun” bet, by which, I hope you understand, I mean very, […]

Newmarket July Meeting Day 1. Raceweb Year 3

Last Saturday saw another decent performance for Raceweb with an overall 14.97 pts profit to start the month of July with. The weekend also gave me the chance to catch up with an analysis of recent results, allowing me to remember that we showed an overall profit for Royal Ascot – but had four losing […]

A Grey day for a Kneesup lie-down

It is that time of year again, when Lady Kneesup, the former debutante Isadora Ablative-Courgette, haemorrhages cash like a Chancellor trying to save the nation’s economy. Simply put, she has created a “wagering system”, I use the term advisedly, that only requires one to back all the Grey horses in a race. Additionally, however, the […]

Never ask “What can possibly go wrong?”, because Murphy will tell you!

I wept all the way to the bank yesterday, with frustration, fury and sorrow. If I am brutally honest, and as many of you will know I am an infinitely lazy bugger. A fading international boulevardier with a penchant for interesting stories, a knowledge of racing which infuriates and delights me in no small measure, […]

It never rains, but it pours

A frighteningly quick post today, as once again we face more midweek racing as attention turns to The July meeting at Newmarket and the Dante at York (both courses racing GS). You have to be strong to keep up this sort of relentless pressure and, as I showed in my last post, PROFITABLE! Even I […]

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