Somewhere near your home at this very moment are two different houses. One of them has Sabrina Habitat-Scatter-Cushion dabbing her eyes at the breakfast table and saying, “What is to become of us?” At the other end of the village, Roger Bader-Kite tells his house guests over breakfast, “We have to gather round the old campfire and support the man. I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and of course, I didn’t vote for him. I voted for Truss, who I thought was a much safer pair of hands, and I have to say I’m rarely wrong about these things, but I think she’ll bounce back one day. We could win this election if we just keep out heads down.”
Sadly, Sabrina is right to weep, and Roger is wrong, as always. Blind middle-England adherence to a set of values with the same fake quality as Tudor beams stuck on a 1950s Ealing semi’s exterior, can only work for so long.
The Tories have so misunderstood and ignored the signs of growing populism, falling victim to utilising SPADs whose principal aim was to say what they thought their mentors thought they wanted to to hear and to climb the nearest greasy pole by standing on the heads of the well-meaning and those inclined to still believe in the cause of public service.
Dull Starmer has known this for some time, and his dullness is partly due to his careful avoidance of fighting the Tories 247. Why should he bother?
The massive swings seen in all the Nuneatons, Milton Keynes, Thrurrocks, and Rushmoors are quite possibly the simple signs that—in line with the rest of the country—half the Tory party did not support Brexit. I am no pollster, but is it possible that the biggest Tory losses appear to be in the Leave-voting epicentres, where the voters have been asking for some time where the promised dividend is and, in its absence, looking for a reset? At no time have the Tories ever shown that, while they understand the problem, they are prepared to ruthlessly tackle it.
More importantly, it has consistently failed to tell the population what is happening and what needs to be done. Everyone is finally, in the main, agreed as to what shape the Government needs to be to work with the EU in the future – but still doesn’t know how to get there. They want to cut the last decade’s worth of Civil Service staff increases – but don’t know where or what size they need.
Meanwhile, HMG, with limited resources, is trying to prioritise
the many new tasks associated with the new EU relationship – but dramatically failing in some critical areas like chemicals,
farm payments and digital markets to resolve regulatory and practical issues to the detriment of the actual producers and suppliers. In short, the Tories have massively underestimated how long and complex an issue taking back control would be. Making it work for the devolved governments is even more complex because, in the main, they don’t want to help.
In effect, I’m suggesting that the Tory local election defeats reflect the general malaise felt by the citizenry, who have been told to expect a ton of X and feel they have only seen a spoonful of Y. As Rod Tidwell, the football player in Jerry Maguire says;
Each government is forced to declare eventually that they have limited resources, which have been impacted by inconsistent growth rates, hindered by pandemics, and disturbingly high costs of global environmental policies. These latter have to be adopted in the long run to benefit all (i.e., people not yet born). Still, in the short term (i.e., a decade or two), these policies will hugely impact voters’ taxation or net income, regardless of their worth to mankind.
Add to this heady mix of potential disaster a war in Europe with all its impacts on fuels and the mass economic migrations of literally tens of millions of migrants from the Middle East and Africa and Governments – and Governments are eventually going to have to say; “The welfare state as you know it is now so broken as to be pointless. We have to rethink the entire provision of public services. We have to start managing expectations.”
Of course, it won’t happen because all politics is for now, not tomorrow. But wouldn’t it be lovely just for a week to have a leader say: “Guys and Dolls, we have trouble, and whilst we can’t fix any of it instantly, we can make a start, and we’re starting now with a few Populist policies”.
Every cyclist on the road will be bound to behave as though they are in a car or motorcycle, and every one of them must be licenced to contribute to the roads and road signage they use.
Every new home that is to be built has to have a solar panel and Storage battery system or Heat Exchange pump system with a certifiable level of insulation.
VAT is to be removed from everything and replaced by a 15% tax on all invoices, bills and transactions. Food prices are capped for one year to prevent price rises driven by profiteering.
All Planning permissions that are granted must be completed – not started – within two years. Any planning permissions granted to date that have not been completed by 2026 are declared void and must be re-applied for.
No child under the age of 16 may own a smartphone. They can have a mobile phone to stay in touch with home and to receive texts.
There will be a minimum fine of one million pounds for every incident of harm caused by providing images and harmful messaging via an internet provider and a fine of ten million pounds for every death. This applies to the Provider and The Platform—so TikTok suicide advice carried by Three, for example. Of course, the best way to avoid that is to start policing it correctly or not have it.
In the future, illegal immigrants will be taken straight from the beach to the nearest RAF base and flown by C130 to Rwanda. They will not be processed, interrogated, or represented, and they will be sent immediately. The plane will have water, blankets, phone chargers, and a cheese sandwich.
Finally, a mandatory ID card with biometric data will be introduced, which must be carried at all times. This is required to provide access to public services, from healthcare to library services and from transport for the elderly to those requiring benefit support.
Talking of somewhere over the rainbow and this will never happen, I was right to swerve City of Troy, another Aiden O’Brien Best-Thing-Since-The-Potato-Was-Mashed.
1:50 FRIENDLY SOUL 4 pts e/w
2:25 SILVER LADY 5 pts Win
3:00 BAGUE D’OR 4 pts Win – KIHAVAH 3 pts e/w
3:40 (4 places generally)
PORTA FORTUNA 4 pts e/w – ELMALKA 2 pts e/w.
The pair with SEE THE FIRE – RAMATUELLE – YLANG YLANG 20 x ½ CFC
4:15 MOUNTAIN BREEZE 4 pts Win – MISS COLLADA 3 pts e/w – ½ pt RFC
4:50 THE ACTOR 6 pts Win
5:25 HOT FUSS 3 pts e/w
TOTAL PROFIT AND LOSS FOR THE POST 281.65