If you have the opportunity and wherewithal to burn five pound notes then can I guide you to the most incomprehensible film I have ever seen, making Inception seem as complicated as an episode of Andy Pandy. That film is Tenet and it is a Bond’esque espionage thriller, focused on the weaponisation of Time Inversion theory – except the baddies have actually achieved it. No, I didn’t understand that either.
Michael Caine wandered in for five minutes and one assumes paid his tax bill for the year. Dear, dear Kenny Branagh wondered in and got frightfully angry, probably at his own Russian accent. His wife was The Night Manager’s paramour, Elizabeth Debicki, playing exactly the same character, right down to the threatened, and cheap, and because it was never given a line of script, child. The entire ethos can be summed up in this line of dialogue:
Neil: What the hell happened here? The Protagonist: Hasn’t happened yet.
I assume that the film title “Tenet” comes from the Pompeiian word square, The Sator Square, a 5×5 square whose five lines are: SATOR, AREPO, TENET, OPERA, and ROTAS. Whichever you turn it, the five words appear both horizontally and vertically – this astonishing property representing presumably the theory of time inversion. The five words also appear in the film: Kenneth Branagh’s character is named Andrei SATOR, the forger responsible for the painting and Kat (Elizabeth Debicki)’s former lover was named Tomas AREPO, the term TENET is the name of the organization that the Protagonist is recruited into, OPERA refers to the location of the opening scene, and then ROTAS is the name of the security company. Frankly if you spend that amount of time on being that clever, you also have the time to make a decent film, instead of a ghastly waste of time.
Talking of a horrid waste of time: some very brief tips for today’s televised racing and a quick note on Superbowl which if you’ve never stayed up to watch before – do this time. In Tom Brady you’re watching sporting history and at least you can tell your grandchildren “I saw the greatest quarterback in the history of ever run out onto the field for Superbowl LV”.
1:10 LEOPARDSTOWN Irish Stallion Farms EBF Paddy Mullins Mares Hcap Hdl (Grade B) (4yo+) 2m2f
TELLMESOMETHINGGIRL Win – HEAVEN HELP US e/w
1:40 LEOPARDSTOWN Tattersalls Ireland Spring Juvenile Hurdle (Grade 1) (4yo) 2m
YOUMIDOR Wins – BUSSELTON e/w
1:55 MUSSELBURGH bet365 Scottish Triumph Hurdle Cl1 (4yo) 1m7½f
CARLOS FELIX e/w
2:10 LEOPARDSTOWN Chanelle Pharma Novice Hurdle (G1) (5yo+) 2m
APPRECIATE IT wins – Double with MONKFISH in the Flogas Novice Chase – HOOK-UP e/w
2:25 MUSSELBURGH bet365 Scottish Stayers Novices’ Hurdle Cl2 (4yo+) 3m
2:40 LEOPARDSTOWN William Fry Hcap Hdl (Grade B) (4yo+ 0-150) 3m
2:55 MUSSELBURGH Pertemps Network Group Hcap Hdl Cl2 (5yo+) 3m2f
KEEPER HILL e/w
3:10 LEOPARDSTOWN Flogas Novice Chase (Grade 1) (5yo+) 2m5½f
MONKFISH Wins – Double with APPRECIATE IT in The Chanelle – If 8 runners FILS D’OUDAIRES e/w
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BAREBACK JACK Win
3:40 LEOPARDSTOWN Paddy Power Irish Gold Cup (Chase) (G1) (5yo+) 3m½f
MINELLA INDO Win