Every now and then, we might be able to find the time in our grinding schedules, to step out for a light snack at lunchtime. Perhaps some potted shrimps and a chilled glass of the 1999 Jean-Noël Gagnard Chassagne-Montrachet. Perhaps a ripe fig and a small piece of the Brillat-Savarin. The sun shines gently on our terrace, the pigeons are calling for partners and all is well with the world. On the other side of this idyllic haven, lies the hell of an afternoon at Newmarket, with windows falling out of the restaurant into the deserted terraces below; where the tipping selections could have been achieved more successfully by an 8yo chimp using a screwdriver and a ten-year-old copy of The Bengal Advertiser. Today, the sun did not shine and the potted shrimps had been hosed up by the bloody pigeons.
The evening was made immeasurably worse by losing all my formwork down some Babbage-Black-Hole. Sadly I only have time now to give you the names – you’ll have to accept the huge work that had gone into it all. Anyway, on Friday we had the following results:
2:05 LINGFIELD (AW) Only a length covered the first 4 home – and VERBOTEN was the fourth. Not sure he doesn’t need further. -2pts
2:25 NEWMARKET EMARAATY ANA was third, didn’t run from the front and wouldn’t have won anyway.-2pts
2:40 LINGFIELD HEART REEF relished nothing today and came last -2pts
3:00 NEWMARKET VALE OF KENT was third at 6/1 so actually +0.2pts
3:15 LINGFIELD ENGLISH KING won going away thank God at 9/4. Tom Marquand never moved a muscle on him and it was a facile victory. Between armchair and computer, the quotes of 16/1, 12/1 and 10/1 had all gone and I have taken 8s for the Derby for a Lobster-sized lunch rather than a few potted shrimps. +4.5pts
3:35 NEWMARKET To be fair I did say how impressive GHAIYYATH is, but that my emotional hat was on for STRADIVARIUS. The latter was third – but the post-race chitter-chatter was all how pleased everyone was. I’m no horse whisperer, but The Strad seemed shy of his best – who knows maybe the old HD section of my TV is giving out, but still…. -2pts
Total for the day: -3.3pts.
Onto the Guineas meeting, where I hope they have had the putty out overnight and again you’ll accept the fact that the selections had huge amounts of now-lost work behind their selection.
13:15 NEWM Win Bigger On The Betfair Exchange Handicap 12 Runners, Class 2, 5f
LEODIS DREAM – BLUE VEGA e/w
13:30 NEWC Betway Casino Handicap 12 Runners, Class 4, 7f 14y
13:50 NEWM Betfair Supports Racing Welfare Palace House Stakes (Group 3) 13 Runners, Class 1, 5f
TARBOOSH e/w – WELL DONE FOX e/w
14:05 NEWC Heed Your Hunch At Betway Handicap 12 Runners, Class 2, 7f 14y
14:25 NEWM Betfair Dahlia Fillies’ Stakes (Group 2) 7 Runners, Class 1, 1m 2f
TEREBELLUM win – to beat QUEEN POWER
14:40 NEWC Betway Sagaro Stakes (Group 3) 11 Runners, Class 1, 2m 56y
WITHHOLD win – MILDENBURGER e/w
15:00 NEWM Betfair Exchange Free Bet Streak Newmarket Stakes (Listed) 9 Runners, Class 1, 1m 2f
15:15 NEWC Betway Heed Your Hunch Handicap 8 Runners, Class 2, 1m 5y
15:35 NEWM Qipco 2000 Guineas Stakes (Group 1) 15 Runners, Class 1, 1m
PINATUBO win – MUMS TIPPLE e/w