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I might have taken too many steps – Ascot Day 3

Capt. Kneesup

Capt. Kneesup

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The Hon. steps out for an understated progress around No 1.

A CORRECTION: The Cousin of Capt Smyly isn’t. She’s his Niece! Nice. He’ll be able to invite her to The Derby Dinner. I must admit I did think she looked more like young Beaujolais and less vintage Claret.


The Hon. took me around the No 1 car park yesterday, on what she described as a Progress. My new health monitor claimed that my 9897 steps were the equivalent of approx 480 calories – surely a major victory in the new fight for trouser freedom.

Whoa – surely the gizmo must be broken. Further examination suggested that at Stop 1, I consumed a glass of warm fizz and a glass of chilled Rose. In Stop 2, about the same – but the champagne was much nicer and colder. Pol Roger at Stop 3, plus Salmon and some sort of cheese straw. You’re perhaps getting my drift… I had done my workout, according to gizmo, seen 7 car parking spots, consumed five small glasses of Rose, three fizz and a bottle of water; plus two salmon things and a couple of cheese straws and some olives. Oh – and increasingly rare these days, some nuts.

In terms of seeing chums and “hail fellowing,” the trek had been a spectacular success. A large number of people now knew we weren’t dead from Covid and more importantly, were well enough to be invited for dinners, drinks and summer lunches. However, the physical effort meant I arrived for lunch with a very jolly bunch of people, completely knackered – and even before a very good duck pate was popped away, I was burned out and already in deficit to the calorie counter by some 1000 calories.

The rest of lunch was excellent and my host had somehow conjured up a delicious La Reserve de Leoville-Barton, which must have involved bribery or letters to HM’s Rep. Later I got a call to join friends in a new marquee grandly described as being for Her Majesty’s Guests. I was startled to discover my host was Charlie Mann, the recent Ukraine convoy leader and former trainer, who I had been unaware was considered by Her Majesty as being high on her must-invite list. It was rather fun, basking in the “Who The Hell Are They” stares of passers-by. We were briefly joined by Venetia Williams, which finally added some charm and gravitas.

Talking of gravitas – here are the tips for Day 3 – and don’t forget to get your US Open Golf bets on.

RACE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE WEEK: 14:30 – 15:05 – 15:40 – 16:20 – 17:00 – 17:35 – 18:10

THURSDAY JUNE 16th

NORFOLK STAKES – Group 2, 5f, 2yo

BRAVE NATION 3 pts Win – BAKEEL 2pts e/w

KING GEORGE V STAKES – Handicap, 1m4f, 3yo

POST IMPRESSIONIST 4 pts Win – SURREY MIST 2 pts e/w

RIBBLESDALE STAKES – Group 2, 1m4f, 3yo fillies

LIFE OF DREAMS 3 pts Win – HISTORY 2 pts Win 

ASCOT GOLD CUP – Group 1, 2m4f, 4yo+

KYPRIOS 5 Pts Win Double with REACH FOR THE MOON (17:35) 

BRITANNIA STAKES – Heritage Handicap, 1m, 3yo colts and geldings

A Short list of 6: TRANQUIL NIGHT – THESIS – BOLTHOLE – KOY KOY – KING OF TIME – WANEES

BOLTHOLE 2 pts e/w – WANEES 3 pts e/w

HAMPTON COURT STAKES – Group 3, 1m2f, 3yo

REACH FOR THE MOON [see above double]

BUCKINGHAM PALACE STAKES – Handicap, 7f, 3yo+

OUZO 2 pts e/w – PATH OF THUNDER 2 pts e/w – STAR OF ORION 2 pts e/w

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