I feel obliged to explain…
Not even midnight and I have already told a bookmaker to close my account on the grounds of impertinence; threatened a minor Building Society with more reputational damage than a Nigel Farage letter; made money on the Sweden-Spain game; written an elevator pitch; unpacked a grocery order and been marginally surprised by the bosom on […]
Aaah go on then… I was going to be watching anyway
Very brief – very quick – very late. Must hit the sack so that I’m ready for the Laydeez. I fear the worst if the Nigeria game was anything to go by – but the commentators seemed to imply it was some sort of divine right to go through. The same sort of nonsense appears […]
Goodwood Day 5 – The Stewards Cup and Pemmican Hash
Saturday 00:22 am: Lambourn Back home, exhausted but so pleased to have seen so many chums, all looking so well. Back to unpacking and admiring the newly painted east-wing bathroom. Back to demanding emails and for The Hon unpacking and dog-whispering. Back to simple foods as well. Pemmican hash and ketchup and some left-over treacle tart […]
Excuse me while I school my soul
Once again I approach the weekend with a heart quickened by the conviction that this time, hope will triumph over experience. The cricket looks good, and the 3m golf isn’t a disaster, indeed as I write I can green up to get 4/15 about my money. The F1 looks interesting depending on the weather and […]
When news personalities mask a wider truth
Forget Nigel Farage and The Couts Bank (I might have misspelt that) and the ludicrous arguments I have seen and heard when Vox Populi is asked to express an opinion. This isn’t about just rich people or famous people or Politically Exposed People. This is about my Lambourn neighbour. A charming lady in our village […]
A jolly pub lunch – but for how much longer
I have to declare an interest… I eat and drink out at the drop of a hat. I also eat the hat if given half a chance. I have a long-term interest in ensuring that there are sufficient interesting places for me to eat and drink in – and I include you all by extension […]
94 Not Out – a beacon of indomitability
This week The Hon and I headed off to Warminster for a family Lunch to celebrate my Aunt’s 94th birthday. Recovering from the scourge of cellulitis, this extraordinarily adroit, cogent, witty English woman is the last surviving Kneesup Aunt. She had organised coronation chicken and salads and asparagus wrapped in smoked salmon, new potatoes, puds, […]
Not quite cricket old/young/ageless chap/girl/non-binary.
The recovery from Ascot saw me watching the 2nd Ashes Test on Sky or listening to TMS, and in both cases, as I gave my liver a rest by drinking anything but Rose, I found myself gently ticking with the constant jibes in commentary from historical giants of the game such as Michael Vaughan and […]
Maintain justice, for it will not maintain us.
What a joy – sunny weather, the start of the Ashes series and a solid start to The US Open. Sitting outside, listening to TMS, a glass of recovery juice in my hand after a brace of croissants and some coffee. Not a hint of breeze to move my papers around on the table as […]
A sunny weekend – with a chance of drowning!
You might recall last weekend we had The Derby and later… The Dash. You might further recall we had put up a short list of four for the race; namely ANCIENT TIMES – VINTAGE CLARETS – RECON MISSION – SILKY WILKIE. I was pleased that one of them, Silky Wilkie, was in a bobbing head […]
There was nothing second-hand about Tina’s emotion
This week’s attrition rate for decent and talented people has been high. Tina Turner, Martin Amis, Paul Cattermole, Sheldon Reynolds, Chas Newby, Ray Stevenson and Jeremy Clarke have all, almost simultaneously, decided to up sticks and go and perform their craft to God or the void. In the same time frame and as these waves […]
Don’t take your Cocker out at Newbury
So modern am I that I have my newspapers delivered to my electronic tablet. The tablet allows me to simultaneously play Radio 4, catch up with the latest emails telling me that Mrs Ojukwe Djlabba has left me $4m in Nigerian government bonds and signal when the next colour sample or delivery of tiny pots […]
Sometimes Eurovision can look sane compared to racing.
Frankly, I’m happy for the rest of tomorrow to gallop by as I prepare for the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday night. It is a chance for my egalitarian, liberal, inclusive side to shine as I admire the many facets of socio-economic Europe on one gigantic artistic display of … hmm… To some, it’s an […]
It’s hard to find a spare channel for His Majesty with so much racing!
These last few days have been busy, so I had failed to notice that racing was actually “on” during the Coronation. For some reason, I had instead assumed that we would, as one nation, gather to watch HM, share a slice of savoury tart, (not a Quiche), a couple of glasses of Bolly and Three […]
The last day of a pretty decent jumps season
I don’t think anyone can argue that the jumps season, which closes today, has been at the very least interesting. It was a game of three halves as David Coleman might have said, Political, Sporting Horses and Tales of Racing People. We had endless chatter focussed on the race programme and the abysmal entry levels; […]
Bueno Dias, Hola and I’m delira and excira to be back
Perhaps from my lapse into Dublin slang, you will gather that my world clock has quickly adjusted from Mallorca to Punchestown time and that the Craic is well imbued in these typing bones. The spirit of Punchestown washed over me on Tuesday when I saw Facile Vega clatter a couple and still win by 7½l, […]
Irish Grand National and a sunny Bank Holiday
BHA CEO Julie Harrington has issued her Easter statement to tell the faithful that efforts to progress the industry strategy were entering “an important and exciting phase“. However, according to Musselburgh’s boss, Bill Farnsworth, her statement masks a strategy devised with the bookmakers to declutter Saturday afternoons to better promote the premier fixtures – a […]
GOOD FRIDAY – JOLLY SATURDAY – HAPPY EASTER
If you’re doing nothing and the weather looks pleasant, and you’ve never seen Tony McCoy up close, or Francesca Cumani, or Mick Fitzgerald or any one of hundreds of famous racing faces, then leap in the car and pole over to the Lambourn Open Day. Francesca to be fair might not be there, but there’s […]
The Lincoln opens the Flat season 2023
And so it begins. Those of us with lists in various competitions have sent them off. Seasonal fees, subscriptions and early badges have been dealt with. There are ongoing discussions with The Hon. about which days of the Royal Meeting we shall attend; the search for accommodation at Goodwood continues; the annual Derby Barby at […]
The final review of Cheltenham – and today’s racing tips
The executive summary to a review of The Cheltenham NH Festival 2023 – were anyone to ask me for an opinion – would be thus: Brilliant racing, marred by a Customer Experience (CX) that does not encourage further returns. However, the issues surrounding the CX are quite possibly 75% out of the hands of Cheltenham […]
Saturday’s TV tips – as if you hadn’t had enough of my profit -bearing fruit!!
Sometimes it’s best to let the facts speak for themselves. Over the Cheltenham Festival, Raceweb recommended 66 bets across various betting types, e.g. from Win and Each Way to Combination Forecasts, Tricasts and Dutching. We lost money on Tuesday and Wednesday, did moderately well on Thursday and made a huge profit on Friday. Our suggestions […]
In the eye of the storm before the deluge.
We’re in the eye of Storm Dressdown, the calm epicentre of the surrounding torrent of hot-air and clashing reputations, where we have most of the Cheltenham decs; where we also have a decent idea of what the Festival ground will be (Soft, as I suggested earlier this week) and some small inkling of where our […]
You only get some bums visit once a year
A tiring but jolly and good Friday in town, where I attend the AGM and annual lunch of The Turf Automobile Society. This august body was only established recently and is closely involved with defining the correct procedures for advancing transport systems and vehicle management for those uninclined or prevented from motoring to or from […]
A snapshot of our times
What an exhausting week. By way of example and mindful as ever of this Government’s leadership of the nation, I spent yesterday trying to find some Turnips in line with Ms Coffey’s exhortation to embrace the root vegetable. We don’t have many shops besides the Coop and a very nice Butcher in Lambourn. Neither had […]
Don’t let The Gambling Commission ruin your Cheltenham
Another shock retirement this week, with news that Tom Scudamore has called it a day after 25 years in the saddle and has yet to turn 41. Concussion a couple of weeks ago and a realisation that all top athletic professionals (and even the occasional fading boulevardier) neither heal quickly nor creak less with time. […]
More small fields and all quiet on the BHA front
Lambourn said goodbye to Cath Walwyn today. Fulke and Cath’s daughter Jane sadly died terribly young from a fast and aggressive cancer, and Isabel her daughter became the focus of all Cath’s maternal instincts. After the Hon and I were married, she became one of my favourite people, and whenever I saw Jane at drinks […]
Love The English.
On paper, we were down 9 pts, but with Bangers and Cash a non-runner in the Lucky Last, I backed Castle Robin e/w at 10s for break-even stakes and added the only other trends horse still running, Laskalin, to the ticket, who duly came second for a 65 pts profitable forecast. Sometimes there is a […]
Just another brick in the wall
RIP Kit Hesketh-Harvey, an amusing, talented and thoughtful man. Thank heavens that the Welsh Woke Police have got hold of the Delilah issue and rapped it firmly on the head. Thanks to them, we can rest assured that no one will ever sing that song again – live on TV. However in the Six Nations […]
Dum di dum di dum di dum…
Once upon a time, a long while ago, I was staying with my cuz in Middle Wallop, where he was with the Army Air Corps, which he would later command. That weekend, he gave a very jolly Sunday drinks party for the locals, which would be followed by a pleasant family lunch. As has often […]
Haydock off – An amended view
Saturday morning 10:00am: Andy Murray is giving it some welly on Eurosport and being hugely supported. I am totally bamboozled by how he’s doing it with a metal hip and following the longest grand slam match in history. Is every sporting organisation in the world simply not thinking things through? Why play a match at […]
Welcome back to Johnny Rotten and a farewell to Hanmer
Sometime in late 1977, I ran a gaff in Camden Lock called Madisons, which ran the full length of the first floor of the Camden Lock courtyard, directly opposite Dingwalls and Le Routier. I converted the old Lock, Stock and Barrell and former barge horse stables into a strange representation of a truck-stop café or […]
RWANDA IS BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE AN ATTRACTIVE OPTION
I am ashamed by the POL-Fujitsu scandal. My shame stems mainly from thinking this is not how we do things in Blighty. I naively believed we – by which I mean our leaders – would not allow that to happen to people for eighteen months, let alone thirteen years. But my other emotion is of […]
I fear Harry hasn’t read any Machiavelli
Because I have a perverse streak in me, I keep a copy of The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli, close by. It is in essence, (and this is a matter of perspective), a constant reminder of what the powerful might/should/could/would need to do to gain and retain power. In theory, Machiavelli’s followers should therefore be able […]
Maybe this time I’ll be lucky…
I see no point in dwelling on the past two weeks, in which Raceweb has been dogged by problems associated with emails. We may well have to use a service like Mailchimp in the future, but for the moment let’s see whether this workaround pans out. In the hiatus of striking Santas or whatever, we […]
Please God – a jolly Saturday at Cheltenham
As I write this, there is still every chance that some, none, or all of the racing might be abandoned. If only bad weather could stop some other stuff that passes as entertainment. I’m at Cheltenham tomorrow in a cosy box insha’Allah, rounding off a week where I feel blighted by travelling many miles. I […]
Will they, won’t they, will they… they will… racing is on today at Cheltenham
Luckily for the developed world, the only public service that is working efficiently is Netflix, and we are thus able to see, hear and emote with the crew of HMS Tiresome. One added bonus will be that our collective airwaves will be full of jokes centred on scenes from the Book of Truth. This one crossed […]
Going Cuckoo in Purdah
The trouble with managing this lurgi is the absence of the guiding bark. The Hon is absent having gone to London and then Liverpool for three days, leaving me to my own devices. I had the wit to ensure a sufficiency of life-saving consumables; mince pies, Snorkers, frozen chips, Muffins (of the sort that a […]
The Red Wall crumbles
The week has positively flown by, disappearing almost as quickly as the beating heart of my spread-betting account. In the middle of it all, I caught some filthy chest infection which has left me gasping for air – but that might also be due to witnessing some of the soccer being played. I smashed all […]
Racing, Footy and a Freebie!
What a week. The Aga saga, which has moved on to the construction of the Kneesup Kitchen at the Chateau d’If, took a turn for the worse with the installation of the quartz worktops. The kitchen supply company had outsourced the installation to, one assumes, the same people who might typically come around and “do […]
Cheltenham November – not Open – Meeting Day 2
I was pulled up by a Cheltenham Grandee today when I exclaimed how much I was looking forward to the first day of The Open. Gently chided, I was reminded this is now called The November meeting – because it is in November and is no longer Open. This sort of rebranding happens all the […]
The Handmaid’s tipping sheet
I arrive, as ever, late to the party and so am finally able to say “Lumme. That Margaret Attwood and her Handmaid’s Tale. Bleak? … I should cocoa.” I have no idea why, but it passed us by, and it was only a comment along the lines of, “Crikey, who knew they’d get five seasons […]
A billion races, less runners, but it pales beside the multiverse
Between last night and this, I ran into the work of Albanian-born cosmologist Laura Mersini-Houghton, who has a fascinating profile piece in The New Scientist this week and who has received wide coverage for her theories surrounding the existence of a multiverse formed at the time of Big Bang. In essence, she has postulated that […]
One last gigantic throw of the dice, before we flatten out.
Tomorrow it starts. The last big meeting, the final hurrah for 2022. The Breeders Cup gets underway on Friday, ends on Saturday and sandwiches The Doncaster finale. Somewhere we also have the Haldon Chase and the beginning of the 2 year-recession possibly accompanied by some nuclear hot kimchi and some glowing Ukrainian wheat. For one […]
Another memory for the filing drawer marked “Ultra”
No word, for me, can conjure the beauty of youth, the imperiousness of real skill comfortably worn, the vast grandeur of imagination, quite like hearing ” ‘Orance”. I hear that, and I can see O’Toole, camel mounted, singing in the Jordanian valley “The Man Who Broke The Bank at Monte Carlo” and the echoes coming […]
A new exciting national PM Hunt season gets under way
We live in a world where it is increasingly difficult not to have some major cause for unsettling angst. Penury, hypothermia, dehydration, pandemic, nuclear war, infrastructure collapse, Starmer, Truss, SNP and Dementia… and that was just this morning’s list. The latter came into sharp focus this AM when I reached for the mouthwash and placed […]
Football not the same as Veganism… who knew?
As you might imagine, I was shocked by the Employment Tribunal judgement delivered in McClung v Doosan Babcock Ltd. Caramba, I hear you cry. Not the Unfair dismissal claim by a Rangers supporter who wasn’t given time off by his Celtic-supporting line manager? The very same, says I. Mr Eddie McClung was employed by Doosan […]
Cunning plans heaped upon cunning plans.
The torrid arguments about the future of racing continued apace this week. Various pointless assurances about its future have been uttered, and all of them bear an uncanny resemblance to my promising to raise funds for Widows and Orphans by swimming the Atlantic. It might happen – but it is unlikely. We have also had […]
Up the Amazon without a stamp
A little shout-out to Amazon, from whom I bought some stamps last June in bulk. What can go wrong with that transaction, I thought. Nothing until I tried exchanging them for stamps with bar codes as required by Royal Mail. This resulted in a curt note from RM, suggesting the stamps are – and this […]
Off to Longchamp via Warmington-on-Sea
As the weekend looms, it’s difficult to know how to divide one’s time. The TV alone will be providing: The Singapore Grand Prix (Sunday 1:00 pm), Saturday and Sunday at Longchamp, the decider in Pakistan between them and us in the T20 (Sunday after the Arc), all the racing as shown below, and finally the […]
The Fleche was strong -but is racing’s spirit weak?
The Autumn double arrives with The Cambridgeshire, a race with a history that should reinvigorate the spirit and souls of ALL racing fans as they prepare for the long hibernation. Recently, it is a race that has unmasked Group 1 winners masquerading as handicappers. Chief among the founders of its distinguished history is La Fleche, […]