Few public servants adhere to Nolan – and don’t care
As the new mob beds in at Westminster and a bunch of sads implode because Jose Esplanade is a brute and Jesus della Saucisson isn’t brute enough when it comes to training for a faux-dance competition, the entire question of good and bad behaviour is under the spotlight. It’s poor form to shoot at the […]
More TV racing than you can shake a stick at!
The day has started well with my “greening up” the Betfair Golf position, thanks to Ludvig Aberg’s 4-shot lead in the Scottish Open. As I have said before, Sandy Lane’s tips are focused on the sports odds betting market- but with multiple selections to cover, I prefer to use the betting exchange market. When you back […]
Biden, Southgate, Archer and Prescott. You’d do business with that firm surely?
I watched the CNN presidential debate this morning, with some scenes that may haunt us over the next few months. It was not Presidential on anybody’s behalf. It was rambling, at times incoherent, and above all sad. There was a moment when I thought maybe this was the plan all the time. Run this debate […]
Rudderless, leaderless, adrift – and 25k for a new propeller!
A call from a Mate, (not not him, the other one), brightened the morning. Someone else’s catalogue of woes is always heartening, and his first-world trials and tribulations are truly tear-inducing. In no particular order, the livery, hunting stables, eventing yard and all-purpose equine money drain that is home is now surrounded on three sides […]
Derby Day
It is a statistical mystery to me how I have participated in three different Derby sweepstakes at three different events over the last three days and not one of our various syndicated tickets has been within fifty of any drawn number. We could have purchased a Derby horse for next year for a fraction of […]
York Day 3 – and some of Newbury
Nothing much to report today. South West Water has admitted to failings… more train strikes are coming… the collusion between China and Russia over who gets what bits after the wheat fields are all irradiated remains intact and en route… the BHA remains in power and hasn’t been disbanded by ARC… really it’s pretty much […]
York Dante Meeting Day 2
I thought the day would go swimmingly well—we were spot on in the first and somewhat foolishly swerved the opportunity to call the 32/1 forecast. But from then on, we might as well have been talking gobbledygook. Somewhere in the middle of it all, the Slovakian PM was shot. I kept half-an-eye on that and […]
Chester May Meeting Day 1.
There’s a line in Peter Pan which goes: “In time they could not even fly after their hats. Want of practice, they called it; but what it really meant was that they no longer believed.” I suspect, too, that many of my regular readers have become incapable of going after their wind-tossed racing trilbys because […]
A little bit of French, a touch of Swahili and a dollop of nag. Here’s a lot of tips
Back at 2:00am, from a delicious dinner in London at Le Colombier next to the Royal Marsden. Super service, a sensational wine list, a good collection of Chelsea’s finest 70-somethings who patently regarded the place as their caff, and some excellent food, including a very good Fricassée de Rognons de Veau à la Dijonnaise. The […]
Punchestown and The Guineas. Col. Tufty Bufty tells Lawrence what he thinks of the entries
45 runners declared for the whole Newmarket card… what can I say? At Goodwood in the 3:50, there is £40k in guaranteed prize money, with five runners. Why?? It can’t be on the ground conditions; it was G/S when the final decs were called. Its – Its… what is the word??? Meanwhile, the frantic social […]
Is this beginning of The Beguine or is it the end of the Irish jig?
In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s the last day of the proper NH season, and before we all start the huffing and puffing again in October, I thought I should seek counselling from Madame Arcati, whose reputation for accurate soothsaying can only be matched by her fees. I asked her to relieve some of my […]
Aintree Grand National Meeting: Day 3 THE GRAND NATIONAL
It happens pretty well every weekend. Of the half dozen or so races that I explore to suggest and sometimes select a winner, I inevitably – if only as a matter of statistical probability – get it right. Sometimes, of course, you have days like today. Days when one forensically examines the possibilities and then, […]
Aintree Grand National Meeting: Day 2
It was not the worst of days for us, but I would have thought it was pretty awful for Hendo. Of his four runners, his only winner seemed constantly surprised to see a hurdle, and the other three all finished in the bottom half of their fields. The fact that Sir Gino won despite his […]
Aintree Grand National Meeting: Day 1
One of the subscribers asked what courses might be considered similar to Aintree. The straight answer would be Newcastle, Ayr, Doncaster, Ffos Las, Haydock, Newbury, Wetherby, Uttoxeter, and Worcester. Left-handed and reasonably flat. The more worldly-wise amongst you will know that there is no comparative course. At the Pardubice, for example, the fences might once […]
A flat start to The Flat
Doesn’t life change rapidly? Last week, the supposed greatest racing festival, today is the start of the Flat season. Yesterday, we went off to Wallingford to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang done by the local players – which was fab and, in places, rather surprisingly sexy – or maybe I’m just a sad old git. […]
Cheltenham Day 4
A very smiley girl appeared at my breakfast table this morning, clutching at some of my clothing that she’d found on her travels. “You bounder and cad”, I hear you say, but wait, the Hon was close at hand; nothing untoward was afoot, and even coffee and a warmed croissant were offered, or a glass […]
Cheltenham Festival Day 3
DAY 3: THURSDAY 14 MARCH 13:30 THE TURNERS NOV. CHASE (G1) 2m 4f Chase ZANAHIYR has had a good season so far with two decent graded runs before converting to Chasing. His debut saw him run into Fact To File, and his poor jumping didn’t aid his cause – but he did have Minella Cocooner […]
CHELTENHAM DAY 2
DAY 2: WEDNESDAY 13 MARCH 13:30 THE GALLAGHER (BARING BINGHAM) NOV. HDL (G1) 2m 5f Hurdle If you swerve HANDSTANDS and THE GREY MAN on trends grounds, and you think the probable winner, BALLYBURN is too short, then you might want to consider either PREDATOR’S GOLD or MERCUREY. The former has recently run second in […]
LAMBOURN – WHERE THE OSCARS ARE ACTUALLY DECIDED
It’s been a week when as much caught the ear as the eye. The Chancellor (how quickly we forget he once saw himself as The PM) said in his Jam Tomorrow and The Day After deceitful Budget speech: “We believe that in a free society the money you earn doesn’t belong to the government. It […]
How did Jeffrey do it?
My hero, Jeffrey Joseph Bernard, of sainted fame, could any day after 6:00 pm do a bottle of vodka, consume a decent dinner, talk racing happily for hours, drink claret, smoke a packet of fags, go to Grouchos, pull a barmaid and be tucked up in bed by 2:00 am. I tried this yesterday without […]
Cancel Cheltenham – we’re all going to Bicester Village to buy a hat.
It has been a busy week, which I have covered elsewhere, and albeit I have slightly recovered from a week full of shocks and Valentine’s needs and planning, I am still reeling from Ascot’s appointment of a style guru who will explain to me how to put on a top hat. Meanwhile, the Ascot PR […]
The 2023 Crackers Report – and ITV Racing tips
If you can, spend a few moments on YouTube or Racing TV catching up on the two Irish Christmas racing festivals – especially Leopardstown. Jeepers, they have some excellent animals. Alternatively, look up the last races of these runners who make up my go-to list for winners next March. They all ran and won over […]
Universe upon universe and so ad infinitum
For those of you who have already grasped the Quantum Sciences involved in the Many-Worlds Interpretation (MWI), I apologise. For the rest of us pedestrians, it is perhaps easier to simply say that the MWI is one of the most controversial and fascinating interpretations of quantum mechanics. It proposes that there are infinitely many universes […]
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
… shall think themselves mighty relieved they don’t have to do another day, fighting the Cheltenham Parking Gauleiters who surely should be considered a potential terrorist operation. Yesterday, the gate that had operated perfectly sweetly and easily in October, and this Friday, was shut to people with an acceptable badge, which had become unacceptable over […]
Cheltenham Open Day 2 and the IJF have no diaries to sell
So near and yet so far – the punting today had much the same air as Chicky Oaksey having to explain why there won’t be any Injured Jockey diaries until December. The Friday of the open meeting is Countryside Day. When the shires come out to see mates, bid in the British Olympic Equestrian team’s […]
I vote Labour, but my butler’s a Tory
I thought you might be interested in seeing this 1929 General Election Poster and this artice’s title, which is a quote from Louis Mountbatten. “The inspectors all round” is so ironic given what we now know about this Government’s founding of the Rapid Response Unit (Cabinet Office) – The Counter Disinformation Unit (MOD (77Brigade) and […]
Night Nurse with Tonic?
The week seems to have consisted almost entirely of coughing out my lungs. Incapable of movement without hacking, I seem to have been watching endless cookery programmes whilst drinking Bovril Amontillado, much like Captain EV Kinross RN in the film In Which We Serve. I find this more palatable and easier on the nethers than […]
And so it begins
A dreadful week. I have been told not to write against stupidity, moral grandstanding, the pernicious growth of anti-semitism, virtue signalling, the ludicrous fear of the word transition, the stifling of free speech, the collapse in varying degrees of our economy, language, and common sense, and coming soon a time when all our fears re […]
ITV TIPS DIRECT FROM CYPRUS!
This may or may not work, but at least I’ve tried. My fourth Aperol Spritz before lunch doesn’t help!
It’s a Group 1 Weekend, and Arc, and Ryder, and rugger and, and… !
It is the end of a truly miserable week, which, after much aggravation, has been almost resolved. Quite apart from flu and COVID jabs, and a trip to Coventry to see the dentist and to have my fear of needles, dentists and girls putting their hand in my mouth tested to the max, I seem […]
The Ayr Gold Cup, The Mill Reef, and a missing caravan
It was a cracking week with Sunday drinks in Lambourn, a London racing lunch, surrounded by old chums who were served the most outstanding roast beef I have eaten for the past five decades; and topped with a backgammon dinner at The Hon’s Club, this time with delicious pork chop the size of a tomahawk […]
Doncaster St Leger Day 3
I was going to tell you some fascinating gossip I heard yesterday about two trainers in York who were apparently entertaining Ms. X, the daughter of another trainer with the modern equivalent of some Sherbert dip. Papa was deeply unamused when he walked in on the home science experiment and pistols at dawn were discussed. […]
Doncaster St Leger Meeting Day 2
The Dentist calls, and I must be away at O-Crack, so there is no time for chats. The day was a disappointment not because they were rubbish selections but because they were there or thereabouts. The first broke slowly and stayed slow; in the second, the selection was third, but I had mentioned the winner. […]
Doncaster St Leger Meeting Day 1
The Hon has gone to do 3rd lot with Ben Pauling and to take a bacon sarnie off him. I have to find three duvets and a box of linen, all of which seem to have dematerialised but which need to be found because there are house guests tonight and again on Saturday. In between, […]
Doctors and Dogs all survive the Diary clash.
The online diary is awash with appointments, reminders, and “Possibles” and great care has to be taken in their acceptance and insertions, as The Hon’s ability to deliver me from A to B runs the risk of being severely impaired. That sounds grand and truly isn’t meant to; the reality is that I only have […]
Is The Age of Unreason here yet?
An interesting week, that started with my reading the findings of an Employment Tribunal. It was, in brief, the report of a chap who had worked at a bank in management for almost 30 years, and who dutifully attended an HR exercise in Race education, laid on by his employer. In that session, and as […]
York Ebor Day 4
The Golf is going well and the TV screen is full of bronzed millionaires in the sun. Having done the rounds of Shagaluf a few months ago, the travel bug is once more strengthening its grip on my psyche and urging me to head for the last of the summer sun, somewhere perhaps where the […]
York Ebor Meeting Day 3
Two men have been arrested over the fire at the Crooked House pub in Himley, Staffordshire police have said. A 66-year-old man from Dudley and a 33-year-old man from Milton Keynes have been arrested on suspicion of arson with intent to endanger life. The force said both men remained in custody on Thursday and were being questioned […]
It was the best of times, it was the worst…
I suppose with hindsight, we should all be thrilled that we haven’t got another bank holiday out of the weekend. Almost everywhere I looked and as far as the eye could see, there were horizons full of cheering fans, all back-slapping and congratulations. We had days earlier smashed the semi-final Aussie result, with all three […]
A jolly pub lunch – but for how much longer
I have to declare an interest… I eat and drink out at the drop of a hat. I also eat the hat if given half a chance. I have a long-term interest in ensuring that there are sufficient interesting places for me to eat and drink in – and I include you all by extension […]
Crikey – Omar Khayam was spot on.
Almost as soon as I put the typing digits back inside their silk gloves, the first of The Cap Backwards Boys stepped out under the Wimbledon roof and was gone. Another came and went, and although both players have assured futures, and are good-looking, with charming and athletic personalities, you just sense some wise owl […]
ROYAL ASCOT 2023 DAY 4
A lunch party in Lambourn for a dozen or so; a TV on the blink thanks to the WiFi failing to connect correctly to the Sky Mini. This small box is theoretically attached to the Sky Q. This is attached in every sense, to my wallet on a permanent, albeit only half-working, but always charging […]
ROYAL ASCOT 2023 DAY 3
We had another 20/1 winner on Wednesday and got chinned on the line with Random Harvest who I could not believe remained stubbornly available at 20/1+ despite being at level weights with the third-placed favourite. I simply lumped more on – but stupidly did not think to back it with the field in an Exacta. […]
ROYAL ASCOT 2023 DAY 1
Loins girded, Titfer polished, socks found, and monocular hung, I am ready. I think I am on top of everything including the wretched ticketing system. Do they really think the Duchess of Fotheringay aged 80 knows whether her phone is Android or Google Pay or even on? Then the email advertising I swear has doubled! […]
Maintain justice, for it will not maintain us.
What a joy – sunny weather, the start of the Ashes series and a solid start to The US Open. Sitting outside, listening to TMS, a glass of recovery juice in my hand after a brace of croissants and some coffee. Not a hint of breeze to move my papers around on the table as […]
A sunny weekend – with a chance of drowning!
You might recall last weekend we had The Derby and later… The Dash. You might further recall we had put up a short list of four for the race; namely ANCIENT TIMES – VINTAGE CLARETS – RECON MISSION – SILKY WILKIE. I was pleased that one of them, Silky Wilkie, was in a bobbing head […]
The Derby 2023
What a brilliant day for Frankie. I did not believe Emily Upjohn could do that although less surprised at Soul Sister’s Oaks’ victory. I was, however, reminded by John Gosden’s post-race interview as to why I find him so irritating. I hope Frankie has a great day on Saturday, but I’m also hoping that Gosden […]
Tipping the balance with a big P
I am – like Victor Meldrew – in a state of utter bewilderment. Quite apart from this website showing a profit for the last three weeks, you might also have noticed the subject of paint cropping up occasionally. I thought it had been resolved. Having carefully chosen a colour scheme that, by chance, had a […]
We might have seen The Oaks winner today.
As I suggested yesterday, SOUL SISTER was the wrong price, and Frankie duly bought the little 18/1 beauty home in The Musidora, to make a relatively solid contribution to The Royal Ascot badge fund. Huzzah, I thought. In fact, I had already huzzahed AZURE BLUE home for Team Kneesup at 12/1, so the whole day […]
Can’t even pick a paint colour right these days!
I’m going to keep this brief this week largely because we are awash with sport. We have the US PGA Championship, The Italian GP, the league Play-Offs, The Dante meeting, Indy 500; it is relentless. From this melange, I have to develop the funds to pay for the Royal Ascot badges and two pre-planned barbecue […]