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25th May 2024 11:16 am

“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries."

Night Nurse with Tonic?

These Donors Are AMAZING Thank You

William S – MEJi – Peter N – Nigel B – Ken C – Mark S – James D – William M – Fiona M – Julian A – Jonathan H – Mrs V.M – Pete BN – Gavin C – Thom S – Sarah C – Mark S – Sam H – James R

The week seems to have consisted almost entirely of coughing out my lungs. Incapable of movement without hacking, I seem to have been watching endless cookery programmes whilst drinking Bovril Amontillado, much like Captain EV Kinross RN in the film In Which We Serve. I find this more palatable and easier on the nethers than Night Nurse and Indian Tonic water.

Luckily Dr. Google has been told my symptoms (as well as my enthusiasm for cookery programmes featuring Nigellisima), by The Hon, and thanks to the wonders of their search algorithms and their understated application of AI, I now know that I have created a Pleurosy Ragout with a Whooping Cough sauce, which has been split with an essence of Common Cold, tainted with Pulmonary Hypertension and smoked with a hint of Emphysema. Helpfully, Dr G suggested that, if left untreated, lung disease can produce health complications, problematic symptoms, and life-threatening conditions – but with no mention of Parsley or Bay Leaves.

In the middle of it all, a man came to put in enough electronics to control NASA moon buggies remotely, should I ever have the need. This installation is in an effort to boost the desultory phone signal into a Wi-Fi system that can be read further than two feet from the router. So far, so good, although the pleasant and helpful chap (rarer than hen’s teeth in the national workforce these days) agreed with me that the default position of all broadband suppliers is not to contact OverReach or OpenTomorrow or whatever it is called, lest a bill is presented. As a result, you can say until you’re blue in the face that you’re paying for 60 mbs and getting 10 and 4 on Wednesdays, to which some customer service wonk will effectively tell you: “It could be worse, you could be living in Gaza.”

The bits in between this sick idleness have been taken up by the start of work on the annual Christmas Card – a small 30+ page Commonplace – where I have to contribute racing tips. Last year, I spent some dozen hours researching Point to Pointers who were straying into NH racing proper. I selected eight horses to be backed during January and February, which list produced four runs, no wins and not a sight of any of them since last March. That almost tells you all you need to know about time spent in research. The Hon. made her views clear regarding my selections and also vetted out an early piece for inclusion in the Annual, this epitaph which caught my eye.

Here Delia’s buried at fourscore.
When young, a lewd rapacious Whore,
Vain and expensive, but when old,
A pious, sordid, drunken Scold.

Talking of sordid, rapacious and expensive – but not always drunken…

1:15 WETHERBY Bet Boost At bet365 Hcap Chase Cl3 (4yo+ 0-125) 2m3½f ITV 14 run (4p gen – 5p Skybet)

MOUNT TEMPEST 3 pts WinDUO D’ENFER 1 pt e/w 

1:30 ASCOT Ascot Underwriting Novices’ Limited Hcap Chase (GBB Race) Cl3 (4yo+) 2m3f ITV 9 run

HERMINO AA – CRUZ CONTROL 7 pts Dutch

1:50 WETHERBY bet365 Mares’ Hdl (Listed Race) (GBB Race) Cl1 (4yo+) 2m ITV 7 run (3p Bet365 & PaddyP)

STAINSBURY GIRL 2 pts e/w

2:05 ASCOT Byrne Group Hcap Chase (Premier Hcap) (GBB Race) Cl1 (4yo+) 2m1f ITV 9 run

RED ROOKIE 4 pts Win – FUNAMBULE SIVOLA 3 pts e/w

2:25 WETHERBY bet365 Hdl (G2) (Registered As The West Yorkshire Hdl) (GBB Race) Cl1 (4yo+) 3m ITV 6 run

THYME HILL 4 pts Win

3:00 WETHERBY bet365 Charlie Hall Chase (G2) (GBB Race) Cl1 (5yo+) 3m ITV 4 run

NO BET

3:15 ASCOT Seat Unique Hcap Hdl (GBB Race) Cl2 (3yo+) 1m7½f ITV 12 run

ALTOBELLI 5 pts Win – TEDDY BLUE 3 pts e/w

3:30 WETHERBY Never Ordinary At bet365 Hcap Hdl Cl3 (3yo+ 0-130) 2m3½f ITV 11 run (4p Bet365, Skybet, PaddyP, Betfair)

DECORATED 5 pts Win – FOSTERSISLAND 3 pts e/w

3:45 ASCOT Sodexo Live! Gold Cup Hcap Chase (Premier Hcap) (GBB Race) Cl1 (4yo+) 3m ITV 12 run

MUCHO MAS 4 pts Win – VICTTORINO 3 pts e/w – ZHIGULI 2 pts e/w


6:30 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Dirt Mile (G1) (3yo+) (Dirt) (3yo+) 1m ITV4 7 run

CHARGE IT 2 pts e/w

7:10 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Filly & Mare Turf (G1) (3yo+ Fillies & Mares) (Hillside) (Turf) (3yo+) 1m2f ITV4 12 run

INSPIRAL 4 pts Win – WITH THE MOONLIGHT 2 pts e/w

INSPIRAL with WARM HEART to beat IN ITALIAN and WITH THE MOONLIGHT 8 x ½ pt Tote Exacta

7:50 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Filly & Mare Sprint (G1) (3yo+ Fillies & Mares) (Dirt) (3yo+) 7f ITV4 9 run

KIRSTENBOSCH 1 pt e/w – GOODNIGHT OLIVE and SOCIETY to beat KIRSTENBOSCH 2 x 1 pt Exacta

8:30 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Mile presented by Permanently Disabled Jockey Fund (G1) (3yo+) (Turf) (3yo+) 1m ITV4 13 run

SONGLINE 4 pts Win – GINA ROMANTICA 3 pts e/w

9:10 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Distaff (G1) (3yo+ Fillies & Mares) (Dirt) (3yo+) 1m1f ITV4 11 run

ADARE MANOR 3 pts Win – PRETTY MISCHIEVOUS 2 pts e/w

9:50 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Turf (G1) (3yo+) (Hillside Course) (Turf) (3yo+) 1m4f ITV4 11 run

AUGUSTE RODIN 7 pts Win – To beat KING OF STEEL – ONESTO 2 x 2 pt Exactas

10:40 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Classic (G1) (3yo+) (Dirt) (3yo+) 1m2f ITV4 12 run

BRIGHT FUTURE – PROXY – ZANDON Dutch all 3 for 9 pts split 

11:25 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Turf Sprint (G1) (3yo+) (Turf) (3yo+) 5f ITV4 12 run

JASPER KRONE 2 pts e/w – ROSES FOR DEBORAH 2 pts e/w – The pair with MOTORIOUS – NOBALS in a 12 x ½ pt Combination Exacta

11:59 SANTA ANITA Breeders’ Cup Sprint (G1) (3yo+) (Dirt) (3yo+) 6f ITV4 8 run

ELITE POWER to beat DR. SCHIVEL 3 pts Exacta

 

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