It’s been a lousy week, made far worse today by the unexpected news that the 80-year-old widow of my late Coz was tragically killed yesterday in a freak accident in a pub car park. Do not smile… such things can happen to the Kneesup clan when they least expect it. I had known her since…
Kempton
Content to be thought foolish and stupid.
I seem to spend more and more time confusing April Fools’ Day with the rest of the month and year. I must believe that some 30% of all the stories I read are fake. For example, surely this selection of today’s headlines, none of which I have gone to any lengths to find, cannot all…
Saturday – a time for quiet reflection
As we seem to be surrounded by retired football managers all screaming, “Gitonmason” (I’m interpreting the accent), I too want to give a loud “Oooochaarrr” for the wisely invested Kneesup hours, which led to today’s results showing a 90.17pt profit. Over the four days, we recommended bets totalling 147.5 points, which delivered an ROI of…
Doctors and Dogs all survive the Diary clash.
The online diary is awash with appointments, reminders, and “Possibles” and great care has to be taken in their acceptance and insertions, as The Hon’s ability to deliver me from A to B runs the risk of being severely impaired. That sounds grand and truly isn’t meant to; the reality is that I only have…
Saturday’s TV tips – as if you hadn’t had enough of my profit -bearing fruit!!
Sometimes it’s best to let the facts speak for themselves. Over the Cheltenham Festival, Raceweb recommended 66 bets across various betting types, e.g. from Win and Each Way to Combination Forecasts, Tricasts and Dutching. We lost money on Tuesday and Wednesday, did moderately well on Thursday and made a huge profit on Friday. Our suggestions…
A snapshot of our times
What an exhausting week. By way of example and mindful as ever of this Government’s leadership of the nation, I spent yesterday trying to find some Turnips in line with Ms Coffey’s exhortation to embrace the root vegetable. We don’t have many shops besides the Coop and a very nice Butcher in Lambourn. Neither had…
Welcome back to Johnny Rotten and a farewell to Hanmer
Sometime in late 1977, I ran a gaff in Camden Lock called Madisons, which ran the full length of the first floor of the Camden Lock courtyard, directly opposite Dingwalls and Le Routier. I converted the old Lock, Stock and Barrell and former barge horse stables into a strange representation of a truck-stop café or…
RWANDA IS BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE AN ATTRACTIVE OPTION
I am ashamed by the POL-Fujitsu scandal. My shame stems mainly from thinking this is not how we do things in Blighty. I naively believed we – by which I mean our leaders – would not allow that to happen to people for eighteen months, let alone thirteen years. But my other emotion is of…
Like Meghan, I am blessed
As the world descends into chaos and the End of Days announces itself with a viral outbreak “of concern” in the Argentine, my week finishes with visits to plumbing centres, tile shops and a search online for Oxygen suppliers to help me get me over the onset of the vapours caused by the additional building…
Cheltenham – An Apology
The management would like to apologise to all those who feel in any way underwhelmed by the astonishing absence of success delivered by Captain Kneesup’s team of expert analysts here at Raceweb Towers over Cheltenham week. As those of you who have dropped by for a glass of Old Bual and a little Seed Cake…
Race, kick, run, vroom vroom Sleep
If Cheltenham moves to five days, this is what this morning will feel like – except you’ll have to put your tweeds on, kick the empty bottles and the knackered spaniels aside and head for Cleeve Hill again. I don’t know how trainers do it… we were back home by 11:00 pm, but on our…
Cheltenham could be another Russian target!
There can’t be many occasions during the year when an enemy could inflict maximum damage on Blighty in a single strike. But if you wanted to eliminate large sectors of the four estates, Legislature, Executive, Judiciary and the Media, in a single act, Cheltenham would be your best bet. Historically, even if the English and…
Knickers to the Aga – and the Chinese spies
One of my favourite readers, Mrs Banshee from Kent, sent me a kindly and charming note outlining her concern at my Aga woes. The Aga, she wrote, is not for cooking… “Rather it is for drying one’s knickers on, as everyone who has one knows”. Now call me old-fashioned, but when very attractive women start…
Another Feast for the Family – unless you’re Welsh
How sad that Janice Long should die so young of something that always sounds so trifling, Pneumonia. One always rather thinks it is curable, manageable, survivable. Not for poor Janice who was a good egg in the Kneesup pantheon. I had forgotten that her brother was Keith Chegwin, who, while an ass on so many…
Look out – it’s the feast of Stephen
Very little time is left now for a preamble. I still fear that the medical panjandrums will force the Government’s hand and my SPAD-based tip of a lockdown on 28th December for three weeks, has still not been rescinded. Still and all, we kept Christmas Day which for us was spent away from the tip,…
My loyalty has been discarded – along with the Gold Card.
Despite empty shelves, nobody apparently working, the collapse of Kabul, the changes to the NH handicapping system, the sale of the house, and a 15-week-old puppy whose teeth are incredibly sharp, life meanders along much as before. Silly chores, however, do seem to take forever but this is, I suspect because Homo Sapiens has decided…
They’re Off!
A two-parter this week – Tips and comment on Cheltenham. This first, though, as they’re almost OFF for the first day of the 2021 Flat season. Also The tips for The Dubai World Cup and the first race of the 2021 Grand Prix season. Talking of wheels almost certainly coming off, here is the tip…
Mothering Sunday, Cheltenham, Knackering Saturday
On my knees, despite eight hours of sleep and a working man’s breakfast. Only just midday, and I have already had a business meeting; given sound client advice; cocked-up the results of a Cheltenham tipping competition; accidentally kicked the dog and had the man with the angle grinder arrive to start some spring-time repointing and…
My old gender-neutralised friend – and nobody even bothered to ask …..it?
Some of you will know that on Tuesdays, after tea, I often indulge in a spot of PR and Nowcomms, if only to keep the boot-fags in dubbin and the Crumpet-wallah in proper honey. Thus I am aware, because I hang with my crew and the kids, that all is not well down in the…
Don’t Panic. Well maybe just a little…
Following my thoughts on Altcar yesterday, Capt. S, whose work in the Intelligence Services is, in some countries, the stuff of legend, sends me a note. He reminds me that when his duties permitted he too could be found in The Nominator’s Car Park at Altcar. He remembered hearing two cockneys outside the gentlemen’s lavatory:…
3rd DAY OF CHRISTMAS
My alter-ego Capt. Grinch was delighted for Bryony, pleased for Paul, and indeed was thrilled for Nigel Kent, but in the main he was unsurprisingly upset. Over in Ireland the surprises continued with Willie Mullins winning both G1 novice chases with his second strings in Franco De Port and Colreevy, his preferred winners (in market…
The 2nd Day of Christmas, St Stephen’s Day
What Ho, Ho, Ho. Yes, it’s true, Capt. Grumpy is becoming imbued with the spirit of Christmas, and is increasingly affectionate with small mammals, children, and even government statisticians. Before we go much further let me immediately say to you all, please have A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS and I wish you and yours as good…
Racing Tips, F1 Tips, Tips fromthe US of A – when am I going to jog?
A profitable day yesterday thanks to JUAN LES PINs winning at 11/1 and watching a rerun of his cracking race will set you up nicely for the rest of the day. Jeepers, that Tom Marquand is good. Over in the increasingly tense world of Formula 1, we saw the departure of Sir Frank Williams and…
An acceleration of the inevitable
This post’s title was contained within an interesting article on the ecosystem in which pubs, clubs, restaurants, breweries and landlords all have to live. With around 30% of pubs and bars still shut, and with some experts suggesting 20% of pubs will not survive the next six months, the article suggested that the pubco ecosystem…
Ante-Post? No but the ITV races are here now.
I thought it might be a good idea – with just nine weeks to go – to start having a look at a couple of the big races, and almost immediately regretted my thinking. It’s a bit like ordering a 1000 piece jigsaw of a green square, and discovering too late that the manufacturer will…
TV Racing and a jolly day at Ascot
I am indeed fortunate that I have been invited to a day’s racing at Ascot on Saturday and I am much looking forward to some exciting racing, both there and on TV. It is a small window of R&R after a hectic week, which has seen the opening of The Lost Boy, a great new…