Love The English.

On paper, we were down 9 pts, but with Bangers and Cash a non-runner in the Lucky Last, I backed Castle Robin e/w at 10s for break-even stakes and added the only other trends horse still running, Laskalin, to the ticket, who duly came second for a 65 pts profitable forecast. Sometimes there is a…

Dum di dum di dum di dum…

Once upon a time, a long while ago, I was staying with my cuz in Middle Wallop, where he was with the Army Air Corps, which he would later command. That weekend, he gave a very jolly Sunday drinks party for the locals, which would be followed by a pleasant family lunch. As has often…

Racing, Footy and a Freebie!

What a week. The Aga saga, which has moved on to the construction of the Kneesup Kitchen at the Chateau d’If, took a turn for the worse with the installation of the quartz worktops. The kitchen supply company had outsourced the installation to, one assumes, the same people who might typically come around and “do…

The Handmaid’s tipping sheet

I arrive, as ever, late to the party and so am finally able to say “Lumme. That Margaret Attwood and her Handmaid’s Tale. Bleak? … I should cocoa.” I have no idea why, but it passed us by, and it was only a comment along the lines of, “Crikey, who knew they’d get five seasons…

Cunning plans heaped upon cunning plans.

The torrid arguments about the future of racing continued apace this week. Various pointless assurances about its future have been uttered, and all of them bear an uncanny resemblance to my promising to raise funds for Widows and Orphans by swimming the Atlantic. It might happen – but it is unlikely. We have also had…

The circus comes to town.

This week’s diary found me pinning a badge saying “I like Milk from Cows” on a small Ukrainian child. As you might imagine, my historical engagement with young children has been plagued by the conflict between my upbringing and the modern social mores. Young Vlad’s rudimentary English and his impeccable good manners prevented him from…

And so it begins….

There is a lot of pressure this week as we prepare for the builders to arrive and we also move into temporary offices. The Wifi needs some resolution (as in trying to download a photograph in under 30 minutes), but before then, we have to go to Goodwood. I use the phrase “have to” in…

1000 Guineas

The Almost God of Thirsk smiled briefly in our collective direction when I wrote, DUBAI LOVE is getting first-time cheekpieces from S Bin S and while he’s a perfectly nice horse the issue is his ability rather than his focus. PISANELLO’s Beverley victory LTO came in spite of major traffic problems in the last furlong…

I almost made 2000 Guineas today

A day of almosts… we almost had a wonderful set of fourfold accumulators come off; we almost got it right on Ricci Rich having the winner – we just went with the wrong one; we almost had a winner at Newmarket if it hadn’t been for some pretty poor positioning mid-race. I was almost Prince…

Punchestown Day 4

This looks like a day for favourites – or certainly top of the market players. I have suggested doing an accumulator at the bottom of the page, but I quite like the look of the last race, where I can see surprises being sprung.

Punchestown Day 3

Unlike other racing columns, this one is totally transparent in keeping its readers abreast of its own follies. Yesterday, and not to put too fine a point on it, finding winners was easy peasy if you simply stuck to Mullins and ignored most previous form. We had one winner in the outstanding Facile Vega and…

Punchestown Day 2

Not the worst day I’ve ever had at Punchestown, helped by a winner and a couple of places, which in turn were helped by the resurgence of Elliott and the skills of Jack Kennedy who was riding brilliantly. I was cross at my own dismissal of Mighty Potter as a third-placer, when I only mentioned…

No time to spare

I once had to write 1000 times Procrastination is the thief of time: Anon Today has been nothing but a sea of procrastinators delaying me from important business. I hope all their horses are rated 58 and only race at Chelmsford. The last and some would say the best of the Spring Festivals starts today.

Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?

Showing a woeful grasp of history, the bollocks-sphere has rung with the mutterings of the illiterati, suggesting that the Bishops have no right to involve themselves in matters temporal; and that Cantuar is a Woke liberal who is being racist when he suggests that Rwanda is unfit for Syrian refugees, (but OK for Gorillas according…

The Irish Grand National.

I wanted to touch briefly on The Cheltenham Festival which the Jockey Club seem determined to have as a five-day meeting regardless of the outcome of what I have already described as the thin veneer of a consultation. I did however just want to give you a few reasons why I think it’s a bad…

So farewell Cheltenham…

Just one more day of potentially impactful racing at the home of NH racing, for which I have just two tips. The purists amongst you will point out the May Hunters meeting, but in reality, that is a posh Point to Point, but with more expensive drink. I used to go to that meeting primarily…

Welcome to The Twilight Zone

I have this vision of hundreds of people around the country, wandering around in their Jim Jams and dressing gowns, shuffling from fridge to kettle to cornflakes to toaster waffles while they try to transition – is that still a normal word, or has it been stolen by the thought police – between jumps and…

Sunny side up – at last

What a weekend for sunshine and sunny moments. Sam Waley-Cohen being hugged by Marcus Armytage – a rare and precious mantle now shared. Scottie Scheffler taking the Green Jacket after some spectacular golf under intense scrutiny and pressure. Both sportsmen set the highest standards for grit, determination, consistency and general good-eggedness, which left me feeling…