For those of you eagerly anticipating the tips for Day 4 of Punchestown, I’m afraid I was laid low by Jab 2 and am not much better today. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am “cream-crackered”. Every one of my joints feels as though it has actually been to the glue factory…
ITV Racing Tips
The last Huzzah of the Winter Game
The social whirl of dinners and drinks invitations this week suggested post-lockdown merriment is an unstoppable train. We have been flat out on the supper front this week. I suspect this has more to do with availability, or perhaps we are known for our huge wardrobe of sensible layered clothing. What I hope no one…
Newmarket 3 Cheltenham 2
The tips for today’s TV racing are here. Very brief. Will explain more tomorrow.
Grand National Meeting Day 2
Yesterday, or rather the very early morning, started badly, as I found myself working in the very early hours to meet an 08.00 deadline. I crashed out about 03.30 and then had Madame’s always fun re-enactment of Reveille in the English lines on the Eve of Waterloo. She plays all the parts, including saddling the…
Aintree Day 1 and a medical opinion
I exercise a great deal of caution about wandering around the village these days, for fear of being accosted, and then denounced, as an agent of the Left, Right, Rich, Poor, Workers, Fascists, Communists, Idlers, and people of … “insert your Woke word of choice”. Yesterday I had written a letter and missed my hugely…
Putting the wheels back on the Gravy Train
Many of you will know the music of the much-inked Rag’n Bone Man, and especially his hit lament called “(I’m Only) Human”. A reviewer said of it, possibly in a desperate attempt to be republished in Private Eye’s Pseuds Corner; Rag’n’Bone man speaks for all of us when he expresses his guilt, sadness, and wanting…
Cheltenham Day 4
One of my readers, the one who doesn’t live in North Wales, sent a note to remind me that Beau Geste, who I mentioned yesterday, died at his post. He asked if I was, like Beau, considering doing the decent thing, should my Cheltenham failure continue. Trust me, Mr Scrote-Boggis of Pinworm Villas, everyone here…
Cheltenham Day 3
With the sad inevitability of the unsinkable ship travelling at speed and an enormous stationary iceberg, I suspect my Cheltenham maybe gashed below the waterline. I tried to enthuse about Tiger Roll’s victory and Cheltenham five-timer, honestly. I was thrilled for Ms Blackmore, who isn’t a female but is a jockey. (Broadcaster please note). I…
Cheltenham Day 2
I have not yet had the chance to congratulate myself for tipping and Brian Harman for playing into his 3rd place in TPC. A 175/1 third, even for a shared place at a 5th odds means that to a £1 e/w LSP, we are +22 pts overall. The rest of my picks… buck up your…
This day and that Day.
The Augustinian, German theologian Martin Luther was known for his well-meant interference in early 16th-century religious beliefs, and his fanatical hatred of Jews, Catholics, Anabaptists, and all the other names on his very long list. He rewrote most of the published Catholic liturgical works in the vernacular, all of the Bible and even the Qu’ran….
Another quiet week with nothing on the news
You get weeks like that, don’t you? You can have month after month when the papers are full of horror stories, and the TV and radio stations spout doom and gloom every hour on the hour. A relentless montage of death, destruction and loss. Friends, neighbours, citizens, strangers all weeping and wailing, and all being…
Of Course you can – but not that Course and not here
This trend continues the theme of horses that are unlikely to win, based on their last race. In this case, they have had the misfortune of being unable or unwilling to have their final Cheltenham prep race other than at these tracks. Personally I think some of these tracks are delightful, but for whatever reason,…
Older yes, Wiser perhaps, Winners hmmm
FACT: There have been 389 Class 1 races at the Festival, (Grade 1,2,3 and Listed) since 2003. 124 of those races have had 230 horses aged 11 and older compete in them and only 3 have won and 26 have been placed. The A/E is 0.29 and with a win percentage of only 1.3%, you’d…
The best need a proper break
In many cases, there is nothing strange about many Festival statistics, but for some reason this made me double-check. With further thought, however, it makes perfect sense. FACT: Since 2003 there have been 219 G1 races at the Festival. 68 of those races, almost a third, have been contested by horses who have raced in…
Flat Out – but not here
FACT: In 83 races since 2003, 103 horses have turned up, whose last prep race was on the Flat or All-weather. 7 of them were placed – but none of them won. Among those not understanding this absolute fact were WHISKEY SOUR the 2019 County Hurdle favourite at 5/1 and the 2018 favourite for the…
Huntingdon Hackers
We know we have had 437 NH Festival races since 2003. FACT: Almost 25% of those contained a runner who had raced at Huntingdon LTO. In fact, there were 132 such horses in 103 races, who had been to the charming Cambridgeshire track and for an A/E of 0.15, they produced one winner and 16…
Another 180 minutes I can never get back
If you have the opportunity and wherewithal to burn five pound notes then can I guide you to the most incomprehensible film I have ever seen, making Inception seem as complicated as an episode of Andy Pandy. That film is Tenet and it is a Bond’esque espionage thriller, focused on the weaponisation of Time Inversion…
What a week. Enquiries galore and a huge 21st
There are only a few weeks every year or so, that make one pause for serious thought. There have been even fewer in lockdown because unless you got a can of paint out, it has been a case of plus ca change pretty well every day. This week was different. There was a change to…
Saturday’s racing and perhaps a few clues
Why I hear you ask, do you have a picture of a walk-in medical vaccine fridge, adorning your racing website? Because gentle reader, I and the team, had a busy day today, trying to explain to someone who sells thermometers for medical fridges or some such, that a fridge is a fridge, and that, strangely…
Marsh Novices’ Chase
28th Jan 2021 James Hill in Racing & Football Outlook has suggested an e/w punt on CHATHAM STREET LAD on the following interesting grounds. Compared to other Festival Hurdle winners transitioning to the Novice Chases, ENVOI ALLEN’s collective races under rules winning margins are way lower than normal for a horse with his OR. SHISKIN…
Ninth Day of Christmas and the Official Secrets Act
In these troubled times, I wonder whether we are worrying too much. So I am happy to say that there is not much to report. All quiet on the Great Western Front. Then I read that the number of patients acquiring C19 in hospital is soaring, and someone tells me that some/many/all doctors are being…
The Eighth Day of Christmas and, Please God, a far happier New Year
With dreams of eight maids a-milking probably best forgotten, from the window of my office at the Chateau d’If, I can see the Starlings getting increasingly territorial and vocal about their birdfeeders. A TV in the background offers a choice of apocalyptic disaster movies or nature programmes with Chris Packham admonishing me for breathing. The…
Widows and Orphans – Repent of your sins and join The Puritans
Christmas has officially begun with the welcome delivery from the Pompey cousins of a side of Smoked Salmon. This gift will hopefully mark the beginning of my chillaxing for a dozen plus days where I will hopefully remain untouched by the stupidities of my form selections and the Government. In that vein, as afternoons go…
Voulez-Vous un bain, ou un Soupe a L’Oignon, M. Rosbif?
I am appalled. The French, it turns out, sleep 5 minutes longer than us, and work a full hour less. They also do less care and voluntary work, but spend 20 minutes extra on shopping and housework. How do I know this? Thanks entirely to this wonderful chart, which also possibly explains why Les Grenouilles…
Oh, to be at Chelty now that winter’s here
The week has not gone quite as well as one could hope. Nil By Mouth on Day 1, followed on Day 2 by one of those unmentionable medical procedures involving cameras and a sizeable film crew; a huge dose of some stupefying drug to relax Kneesup; Day 3 recovery and then some mentoring yesterday which…
The tipping train arriving at 13:30 will be arriving here sideways.
Both the mighty O’Tool and I were sadly awry yesterday with our selections. By 3:00 pm I was so despondent I was actively thinking of watching the English T20 Cricket Team taking their Covid 19 tests by way of sport. The Hon Mrs K was hammering around the East Wing screaming abuse at Amazon Prime…
The TV Racing Tips for Saturday
It’s been an interesting week, with a client winning an award for his work during the pandemic as Communicator of The Year, and he later wins a further award as Individual of The Year. We are delighted that by reflection some small kudos attaches itself to us, but we would never be so vulgar as…
Sloshing around at Cheltenham for the final day of The Open
It is one thing to call the weather spot on, but jeepers the TV pictures by the time 4:00 pm arrived were enough to make me reach for a plate of toasted crumpets and a pot of the Earl Grey. It looked thoroughly miserable, but as Nanny used to irritatingly say; “There is no such…
Cheltenham Day 2 – All the tips for here and ITV Racing
Yesterday was close, but no coconuts, although there was a huge amount of cheering here at the Chateau D’If for Beau de Brizais, who opened at 40s, behaved exactly as predicted and halved in price. I regret not suggesting the forecast, but then [a] I would have been a genius and [b] I couldn’t have…
I shall miss Tim and all our chums at Cheltenham
The week started badly with news that Tim Hales had died. He was the father of one of my “fingers-of-one-hand” best friends, and probably one the smoothest men I ever knew. He was tall, thin, elegant, handsome immaculate, loved racing and women and his own company. Many hearts were set racing when mesdames would arrive…
Racing – with not a drink in sight
On Thursday Lockdown 2 started. The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker, all remain open and three Huzzahs for them. That isn’t however the case for all the places in which I have felt safest, most comfortable and welcomed – and which we will all miss dreadfully. Until someone can produce hard facts that show…
Saturday’s Charlie Hall, ITV Racing Tips while Imperial drones on
A close friend of mine, the Time-Life photographer Peter Jordan popped in for a coffee today. As a front-line photo-journalist, he’s seen and done much in terms of recording war, plague, famine, politics and life’s vagaries. Both of us can generally find something to laugh at when times are tough and in our separate ways,…
Cheltenham Day 2 and the last gasps of the Flat
A dreadful start to the new season yesterday, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll get my “jumping eye” in soon. I have spent a large chunk of the day, trying to get a chum to complete a task she agreed to undertake. Nada. Zip. Nothing. Why do people take on so much that they…
Cheltenham – The first day of the new season
A great chum called me this week to tell me the exciting, indeed brilliant news, that he had had a 40/1 winner in Ireland. He further explained that no, the trainer hadn’t told him it was on; that no, he hadn’t backed it; that, yes, his fellow owner in this (beautifully-bred) nag had also had…
Well done Ascot – Champions all
Work for some this week will have been, very literally, all hands to the pump. Ascot’s CEO will have been hard at work organising his grass-mopping team, or whatever one needs to do to save a race day. He was concerned two weeks ago – but I suspect is feeling easier in the mind now….