Off to Ascot for A Scotch Egg
I had decided to go on a Business Trip to Ascot, having been invited to trial the proposed Royal Scotch Eggs, which would only be served to Members of The Household, or The Trustees…. or possibly myself, if either HM or I wanted a sherbert. I could only imagine how business-like Friday would have been, […]
You need to pay your luck money or else…
You would have to be a mean-spirited cuss to suggest that last week’s selections were a poor lot because we had a cracker. Those of you who know my slightly adventurous approach to money will appreciate that I favour doubles and trebles and the like, and while this has bought Bookies-R-Us Plc several dividends over […]
Perhaps I might become a Stable Lad?
I have no idea what the argument is with Rishi, because I don’t take The Racing Post anymore. (That doesn’t make me a bad person, I just started to find the absence of competition made their copy somewhat compliant). However, I gather Rishi said something along the lines of why aren’t more Lads from a […]
Saturday’s Charlie Hall, ITV Racing Tips while Imperial drones on
A close friend of mine, the Time-Life photographer Peter Jordan popped in for a coffee today. As a front-line photo-journalist, he’s seen and done much in terms of recording war, plague, famine, politics and life’s vagaries. Both of us can generally find something to laugh at when times are tough and in our separate ways, […]
Cheltenham Day 2 and the last gasps of the Flat
A dreadful start to the new season yesterday, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll get my “jumping eye” in soon. I have spent a large chunk of the day, trying to get a chum to complete a task she agreed to undertake. Nada. Zip. Nothing. Why do people take on so much that they […]
Well done Ascot – Champions all
Work for some this week will have been, very literally, all hands to the pump. Ascot’s CEO will have been hard at work organising his grass-mopping team, or whatever one needs to do to save a race day. He was concerned two weeks ago – but I suspect is feeling easier in the mind now. […]
The last few Flat races with Aidan’s Whateveritsnameis the possible winner
After my suggested advice to Annamarie yesterday, my post box was flooded with the following note from my old friend and former intelligent officer, 006½ who represents a number of senior racing connections: Perhaps you should have mentioned the disgracefully lazy racecourses. Some now cannot even provide a decent meal for the stable staff who […]
Twenty Racing Tips, and a provable Profit
I feel the urge to spread my bonhomie around the minor counties and so later today I shall progress to Dorsetshire. I very much doubt that we shall see more than six people all weekend. A quiet supper on Friday, dinner on Saturday with a charming couple, perhaps Mass on Sunday at The Church of […]
The Ig Nobel shortlist for horserace tipping includes …
After yesterday, I feel as though I deserve a nomination if nothing else. Three seconds, two thirds and a winner – admittedly in the Ayr Bronze Cup – but still, somehow a disappointment. In case you are one of those entirely in the dark, on the subject of Ig Nobel awards, I received news of […]
SUNDAY 13th September The Curragh and Paris Longchamp
As brief as I can be: 1:00 LONGCHAMP Qatar Prix du Petit Couvert ( G3) (3yo+) (Sprint Course) (3yo+) 5f SKY 8 run TOUR TO PARIS is decent winning the Prix du Gros-Chene at Deauville in good style. COEUR DE PIERRE is of interest and Karl Burke sends LADY IN FRANCE who picks up a […]
St Leger Day – Doncaster Day 4
Four winners yesterday including a 40/1 shot and a 17/2 (backed down from 10s), heralded the beginning of a busy weekend of top quality racing action, both here, Ireland, France and Germany. The 40/1 shot was trained by Nigel Tinkler, whose father Colin effectively rewrote the rules on syndication, with Full Circle, which at one […]
Doncaster St Leger meeting Day 3
The long and complicated story of Phoenix Thoroughbreds is a million miles from being either understood or fully exposed. It involves a Bulgarian-based crypto-currency Ponzi scheme, the FBI, a man called Amer Abdulaziz Salman, who owns various companies that have the word Phoenix attached to them, a lawyer called Scott, (part of whose testimony ran […]
Donny St Leger Day 2
A poor start to the morning with an unexpected trip to somewhere miles away with an equally unexpected bill; an unplanned detour to another place less far, but as tiresome; the failing computer not improving; but luckily, I suppose, some resolution to the burning question “Why are we spending £2,000 a day on feeding the […]
Doncaster’s Leger meeting Day 1 TV Races
The twilight of the Flat season is creeping in, with talk about the Arc and Melbourne Cup betting markets, and emails containing the words “Breeders Cup” become increasingly prevalent. The chill draught of a disappearing summer; ground that veers between motorway and bog; handicap marks receiving their annual dusting off, all suggest that “The Sticks” […]
The dangers from Covid are far greater than being ill
I feel sorry for jockey Ben Curtis, who has been publically hauled over the coals as he scrabbles to earn a crust out of a single ride at – and being ejected from – Newmarket by the Thomson and Thompson Twins. Tintin’s comic book heroes always displayed a sense of self-righteousness that however commendable nearly […]
York Ebor Day 4 – The Road to Damascus in a combination forecast
While the power went off and on and my desktop went tonto, I had time yesterday to reflect on how one might have done better this week. Sure we had a cracking start, yes we tipped some winners, yes we’re in profit – but that is mainly because we headed down the “exotics” avenue and […]
Many unhappy returns from The Nanny Goat – plus York Day 2 Tips
A pretty good day having advised 4 winners at 18/1, 10, 9/1 and 9/2 and a couple of exotics which showed a near 46 pt profit. Overall we’re 88pts up after Day 1, but I wonder whether we would all be quite so delighted had I advised you to bet on The Tote. I shall […]
Has the flaw in our algorithm been discovered?
As the person in charge of Raceweb, I feel obliged to point out that all Raceweb’s advisory notes – and do remember, these are not instructions – are based on well-researched and scientifically sound data. The data is compiled by people who have devoted their lives to the accuracy of their work. Sadly, because they […]
The PHE and the PGA – Statistics only tell half the story
A reader writes that she is confused by my writing about “ball games”, and that “strokes in regulation” means nothing to her. I am much the same with equestrian tack, racing bridles and bits. The Triabit is in every sense a bit of a mouthful, (ED: Stop that immediately) and do not get me started […]
Capt. Kneesup is unwell. His column has been undertaken by The Tissue
Apologies for this, but CK was last seen trying to climb the scaffolding of The Goodwood House Hotel, singing a crude variation of The Marsellaise. With such little notice, I hope you will forgive the brevity.
Goodwood Day 4 – Bunny would not approve
Dinner with Sam Hoskins and other chums last night, at another pub that has decided that C19 is an excuse not a reason to try harder. Sam is down to support his KVT members and their runner SIR BUSKER today. We have an engaging conversation, but close by, a man keeps trying to catch Sam’s […]
Goodwood Day 3
The Keeper of The Privy Purse or the Hon. Kneesup as she prefers to be known, has berated me for failing to provide adequate description of our current circumstances. Thus, I have to tell you, that since Monday night and until tomorrow, we have been in residence at The Park House Hotel, Bepton, West Sussex. […]
Goodwood Day 2
Not a bad day at the coal face, and my call on Stradivarius’ race was bang-on. Well that’s enough preamble…
Goodwood Day 1
As you probably gathered from the results, I did not manage to get hold of Angelina for her input, (see raceweb passim), so it was not a great weekend on the tipping front. My physical condition was also hindered by a conference on Saturday night with the Madeira branch of the Confrerie des Buveurs de […]
A la recherche des sous-titres perdu.
My relationship with the works of Proust has much in common with my relationship with Angelina Jolie. If we could get along we would probably be chums, but I wouldn’t necessarily want to tuck myself up in bed with either to relax. Also, I am almost Frenched-out, as Angelina might have said, having had a […]
Let’s hope Mr Jobsworth stays at home.
It’s going to be interesting to see what August 1st holds for Goodwood. I had already decided to attend and was planning to join a throng on Trundle Hill where, on that magnificent and historic site, the less-inherited have always watched the racing. I suspect there will be at least a 1,000 bodies with picnics […]
If the room stops spinning, I’ll give you some tips
When trains arrive in stations at 70 mph going sideways, or your marriage to Mr Depp ends up in court, or you have spent many happy hours in the company of your camera-wielding mate, Ghislaine Maxwell, the term “Train Crash” can be fairly applied. At 4:30 this morning, I walked away from just such an […]
Saturdays TV Races
Well, the Golf is 50/50 having lost Kevin Na in the Cut but with Tyrell Hatton looking to initiate a Day 3 charge. He’s still 16s but its only for 4 places now, whereas we had him for 7 places. Bottas has shortened and is now a 4/1 chance. The Indycar practice was enthralling and […]
The Oaks – All you need to know
The picture above was taken one hundred years ago – it is the start of the 1920 Epsom Oaks. The winner Charlebelle is seen second from left and she was bred and owned by Alan Cunliffe at his stud in Tipperary. Her sire, Charles O’Malley was third to Lemberg in the 1910 Epsom Derby. She […]
The Derby – Profiles of the Runners & key trends
THE DERBY RUNNERS Racecard No (draw) HORSE NAME (Trainer/Jockey) 1 (5) AMHRAN NA BHFIANN (Aidan O’Brien/William Buick) Unimpressive debut, (13/16 Curragh – Gold Maze 5th). 3yo career might have some shape, but he was 4th LTO with the first three taking minor honours in the Irish Derby. If you drew him in a sweep and it […]
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Well stap me vitals, and call me Greta – nine TV races on a drizzly, blowy Sunday afternoon and 56 runners between them. Just goes to show the vital jobs that race-planning, the NTF, and the BHA do in ensuring that public interest is maintained at the highest level. My friend McFly-on-the-wall tells me that […]
I’m in no rush to get to the beach today
Am I alone in thinking that the thousands of people on Bournemouth beach, of which at least 25% appeared to be children, might perhaps have been missing the point? Am I going mad when the real news tells me that a very decent primary school headmistress is suspended, because she declared in public that not […]
Royal Ascot: Saturday 19th June 2020 – Day Five
Our Literary correspondent, High Rise, sent me a brusque note today about my curmudgeonly criticism of ITV and specifically Francesca Cumani’s hats. He pointed out that the poor girl needs to keep her face free because she is on TV and thus, the wide-brimmed hat a la Ms Eliza Doolittle would not cut it for […]
Royal Ascot: Friday 18th June 2020 – Day Four
Really tricky on Thursday, despite the 14 hours notice of impending rain and likely going changes. I was already struggling when I got tucked up by Roger Varian and his observations on Molatham’s last outing on Soft ground. “He’ll hate it” he said or words to that effect. Lumme, it turns out Roger, old darling, […]
Royal Ascot: Thursday 18th June 2020 – Day Three
Well, what a cracker for all the Sir Busker owners! Madame had a small wedge on it and we spoke to the rightfully incoherent shareholder afterwards. We might try to speak again tomorrow. We continued our policy of bringing comfort to those more fortunate than us today, by delivering vital supplies to a family in […]
Royal Ascot: Wednesday 17th June 2020 – Day Two
With hindsight, the last Magnum of AIX yesterday was possibly a step too far. Suffice it to say, that I was so drunk, I only backed Pyledriver on the grounds that he was being ridden by Sylvestre de Souza. I remember nothing after 9:00 pm, and this morning the idea of solids is too much […]
Royal Ascot: Tuesday 16th June 2020 – Day One
No preliminaries, we all know why we’re here…… Kick On! 1:15 pm – Buckingham Palace Handicap (Handicap) “Cripes” as Bunter might say. Tricky or what? I have cogitated about this field for almost 40 minutes and only managed to narrow it down to a dozen. I don’t think the draw is going to matter much, […]