Why I hear you ask, do you have a picture of a walk-in medical vaccine fridge, adorning your racing website? Because gentle reader, I and the team, had a busy day today, trying to explain to someone who sells thermometers for medical fridges or some such, that a fridge is a fridge, and that, strangely…
Tips
Statistically unlikely – yet Madame seems to be correct! Again!
Now and then one opens a door of enquiry, which one quickly regrets. In this case, I had chanced upon W.B Arthur’s 1994 essay in the American Economic Review and, within it, this insight: In interactive situations of complication, agents cannot rely upon the other agents they are dealing with to behave under perfect rationality,…
Don’t Panic. Well maybe just a little…
Following my thoughts on Altcar yesterday, Capt. S, whose work in the Intelligence Services is, in some countries, the stuff of legend, sends me a note. He reminds me that when his duties permitted he too could be found in The Nominator’s Car Park at Altcar. He remembered hearing two cockneys outside the gentlemen’s lavatory:…
Hacked Off ain’t in it
So the Scottish have just discovered that it can get quite cold in Scottyland – what a surprise! Quick send more money. Meanwhile to Cork, where once again the charming Irish have come to our rescue. 2:13 COMMENTARIOLUS ran well at Cork in November when fourth to Rebel Waltz. I think he could take this…
Ninth Day of Christmas and the Official Secrets Act
In these troubled times, I wonder whether we are worrying too much. So I am happy to say that there is not much to report. All quiet on the Great Western Front. Then I read that the number of patients acquiring C19 in hospital is soaring, and someone tells me that some/many/all doctors are being…
The Eighth Day of Christmas and, Please God, a far happier New Year
With dreams of eight maids a-milking probably best forgotten, from the window of my office at the Chateau d’If, I can see the Starlings getting increasingly territorial and vocal about their birdfeeders. A TV in the background offers a choice of apocalyptic disaster movies or nature programmes with Chris Packham admonishing me for breathing. The…
Five Gold Rings, The Mandarin Chase and The Matheson Hurdle
There has been some excellent racing at Leopardstown over the Christmas Festival, and it has offered many clues for the future. Throughout, I keep thinking how nice the place looks, despite the motorway, Creche, Microsoft HQ, and what looks like the early warning system from Day of The Triffids. Once this wretched Covid is over,…
4th Day of Christmas finds us in Ireland – mostly.
We started to get back into the swing yesterday with a few double-digit e/w shots, but the bruised boxing day ego still took a hit, when my favourite rails bookmaker, Simon Wallis, sent me an email. In it, he thanked me for my tips, which he had laid to great effect and thus offset a…
3rd DAY OF CHRISTMAS
My alter-ego Capt. Grinch was delighted for Bryony, pleased for Paul, and indeed was thrilled for Nigel Kent, but in the main he was unsurprisingly upset. Over in Ireland the surprises continued with Willie Mullins winning both G1 novice chases with his second strings in Franco De Port and Colreevy, his preferred winners (in market…
The 2nd Day of Christmas, St Stephen’s Day
What Ho, Ho, Ho. Yes, it’s true, Capt. Grumpy is becoming imbued with the spirit of Christmas, and is increasingly affectionate with small mammals, children, and even government statisticians. Before we go much further let me immediately say to you all, please have A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS and I wish you and yours as good…
Widows and Orphans – Repent of your sins and join The Puritans
Christmas has officially begun with the welcome delivery from the Pompey cousins of a side of Smoked Salmon. This gift will hopefully mark the beginning of my chillaxing for a dozen plus days where I will hopefully remain untouched by the stupidities of my form selections and the Government. In that vein, as afternoons go…
Off to Ascot for A Scotch Egg
I had decided to go on a Business Trip to Ascot, having been invited to trial the proposed Royal Scotch Eggs, which would only be served to Members of The Household, or The Trustees…. or possibly myself, if either HM or I wanted a sherbert. I could only imagine how business-like Friday would have been,…
Voulez-Vous un bain, ou un Soupe a L’Oignon, M. Rosbif?
I am appalled. The French, it turns out, sleep 5 minutes longer than us, and work a full hour less. They also do less care and voluntary work, but spend 20 minutes extra on shopping and housework. How do I know this? Thanks entirely to this wonderful chart, which also possibly explains why Les Grenouilles…
Oh, to be at Chelty now that winter’s here
The week has not gone quite as well as one could hope. Nil By Mouth on Day 1, followed on Day 2 by one of those unmentionable medical procedures involving cameras and a sizeable film crew; a huge dose of some stupefying drug to relax Kneesup; Day 3 recovery and then some mentoring yesterday which…
The tipping train arriving at 13:30 will be arriving here sideways.
Both the mighty O’Tool and I were sadly awry yesterday with our selections. By 3:00 pm I was so despondent I was actively thinking of watching the English T20 Cricket Team taking their Covid 19 tests by way of sport. The Hon Mrs K was hammering around the East Wing screaming abuse at Amazon Prime…
Our Irish Correspondent suggests the following for Tingle Creek day
Aintree 1:30 This is a very tough handicap to unpick. Last year’s first and second, Walk In The Mill and Kimberlite Candy, run again today with last year’s winner 8lb better off. On those grounds, you would think Walk In The Mill should again past the line first but the progressive Kimberlite Candy ran a…
My Hard Drive is a distant memory
Inevitably what should have been a slight anecdote about the restoration of Kneesup computer connectivity, has become a saga. Hard Disks that should have been operating separately had been affixed in such a way that if separated they stop talking to anyone. The Solid State Drive on which the operating system resided won’t boot, the…
You need to pay your luck money or else…
You would have to be a mean-spirited cuss to suggest that last week’s selections were a poor lot because we had a cracker. Those of you who know my slightly adventurous approach to money will appreciate that I favour doubles and trebles and the like, and while this has bought Bookies-R-Us Plc several dividends over…
The Fighting Fifth and a drop of Hennessy
A cracking race in the Berkshire saw the Memsahib’s grey get up, although she hadn’t backed it because she was busy rallying the troops on the parliamentary front line. Sadly it did Lostintranslation’s chance in after a gallant battle. We’d backed Clondaw Castle for 8s and he went off 11/2 and saw his race out…
Perhaps I might become a Stable Lad?
I have no idea what the argument is with Rishi, because I don’t take The Racing Post anymore. (That doesn’t make me a bad person, I just started to find the absence of competition made their copy somewhat compliant). However, I gather Rishi said something along the lines of why aren’t more Lads from a…
The TV Racing Tips for Saturday
It’s been an interesting week, with a client winning an award for his work during the pandemic as Communicator of The Year, and he later wins a further award as Individual of The Year. We are delighted that by reflection some small kudos attaches itself to us, but we would never be so vulgar as…
Sloshing around at Cheltenham for the final day of The Open
It is one thing to call the weather spot on, but jeepers the TV pictures by the time 4:00 pm arrived were enough to make me reach for a plate of toasted crumpets and a pot of the Earl Grey. It looked thoroughly miserable, but as Nanny used to irritatingly say; “There is no such…
Cheltenham Day 2 – All the tips for here and ITV Racing
Yesterday was close, but no coconuts, although there was a huge amount of cheering here at the Chateau D’If for Beau de Brizais, who opened at 40s, behaved exactly as predicted and halved in price. I regret not suggesting the forecast, but then [a] I would have been a genius and [b] I couldn’t have…
I shall miss Tim and all our chums at Cheltenham
The week started badly with news that Tim Hales had died. He was the father of one of my “fingers-of-one-hand” best friends, and probably one the smoothest men I ever knew. He was tall, thin, elegant, handsome immaculate, loved racing and women and his own company. Many hearts were set racing when mesdames would arrive…
Racing – with not a drink in sight
On Thursday Lockdown 2 started. The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker, all remain open and three Huzzahs for them. That isn’t however the case for all the places in which I have felt safest, most comfortable and welcomed – and which we will all miss dreadfully. Until someone can produce hard facts that show…
Time to get some back after a poverty-inducing week in America
I thought that by the time you read this, my fate would be sealed and I’d have done some big biscuits on the US Presidential Election. Indeed, a steady stream of “concerned” citizens has been calling me to deliver snippets they thought I needed to know. One such was from a distinguished CFO, who’s concerned…
The Breeders Cup Day One Friday – The Babies are on show at Keeneland
Once Upon A Time, I was hugely privileged to accompany a Breeders Cup Classic contender up the track at Churchill Downs, in front of a record, never-since repeated, race day crowd of 80,452. The horse was Running Stag, trained by Philip Mitchell and owned by Richard Cohen and together with my wife The Hon. Mrs…
Hail the Chief, as we watch the USA implode.
Firstly, my condolences to Anthony Van Dyke’s connections, an unwarranted end to a great horse, and somehow so far from home. Our Melbourne Cup selections all flattered to deceive, but that Flemington ground was very fast. All that aside, Joseph O’B had the winner trained to the minute and a 2m pillar to post run…
North vs South? Relax – I’m talking Hemispheres in Melbourne
If you happen to be up at 4:00 am this coming morning, you could actually watch The Melbourne Cup. Give it another 24 hours and you could watch the USA election. Several sleepless hours after that, the Breeders Cup Classic will be on around 00:30. Let’s face it, not much will be happening here, so…
CHARLIE HALL DAY – OCTOBER 31 st 2021
Back from advising the Pitcairns on their self-isolation policies, here are my thoughts on today’s racing
Saturday’s Charlie Hall, ITV Racing Tips while Imperial drones on
A close friend of mine, the Time-Life photographer Peter Jordan popped in for a coffee today. As a front-line photo-journalist, he’s seen and done much in terms of recording war, plague, famine, politics and life’s vagaries. Both of us can generally find something to laugh at when times are tough and in our separate ways,…
Cheltenham Day 2 and the last gasps of the Flat
A dreadful start to the new season yesterday, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll get my “jumping eye” in soon. I have spent a large chunk of the day, trying to get a chum to complete a task she agreed to undertake. Nada. Zip. Nothing. Why do people take on so much that they…
Cheltenham – The first day of the new season
A great chum called me this week to tell me the exciting, indeed brilliant news, that he had had a 40/1 winner in Ireland. He further explained that no, the trainer hadn’t told him it was on; that no, he hadn’t backed it; that, yes, his fellow owner in this (beautifully-bred) nag had also had…
Well done Ascot – Champions all
Work for some this week will have been, very literally, all hands to the pump. Ascot’s CEO will have been hard at work organising his grass-mopping team, or whatever one needs to do to save a race day. He was concerned two weeks ago – but I suspect is feeling easier in the mind now….
The last few Flat races with Aidan’s Whateveritsnameis the possible winner
After my suggested advice to Annamarie yesterday, my post box was flooded with the following note from my old friend and former intelligent officer, 006½ who represents a number of senior racing connections: Perhaps you should have mentioned the disgracefully lazy racecourses. Some now cannot even provide a decent meal for the stable staff who…
Chair the BHA – I’d rather eat glass.
Those of us cursed with the Lazy Gene, [CLICK HERE for some support of its existence], can instantly summon up a list of 1000 jobs one would never wish to do. Those of a more normal disposition, perhaps with a work-ethic that extends beyond 11:00 am, (the ideal time for a glass of The Old…
Twenty Racing Tips, and a provable Profit
I feel the urge to spread my bonhomie around the minor counties and so later today I shall progress to Dorsetshire. I very much doubt that we shall see more than six people all weekend. A quiet supper on Friday, dinner on Saturday with a charming couple, perhaps Mass on Sunday at The Church of…
Earwigging is bad for your mental health
My office lies just north of the memsahib’s and so it is only a matter of switching off the selective deafness mode to catch the full conversational flow, surely the nearest thing to Perpetual Motion. Thus I discovered that she misses smelling like a horse. Sadly I too missed something – one or two vital…
When a company name sounds too clever, it normally is by half
I remember someone years ago, (fortunately not a friend), asking me my opinion of something called the Layeze Betting Syndicate, which was, allegedly the bees’ knees. It was run by a chap called Michael Stanley, and he was making his members a lot of money. (Let me just hasten to add, that he is not…
The Ig Nobel shortlist for horserace tipping includes …
After yesterday, I feel as though I deserve a nomination if nothing else. Three seconds, two thirds and a winner – admittedly in the Ayr Bronze Cup – but still, somehow a disappointment. In case you are one of those entirely in the dark, on the subject of Ig Nobel awards, I received news of…
SUNDAY 13th September The Curragh and Paris Longchamp
As brief as I can be: 1:00 LONGCHAMP Qatar Prix du Petit Couvert ( G3) (3yo+) (Sprint Course) (3yo+) 5f SKY 8 run TOUR TO PARIS is decent winning the Prix du Gros-Chene at Deauville in good style. COEUR DE PIERRE is of interest and Karl Burke sends LADY IN FRANCE who picks up a…
St Leger Day – Doncaster Day 4
Four winners yesterday including a 40/1 shot and a 17/2 (backed down from 10s), heralded the beginning of a busy weekend of top quality racing action, both here, Ireland, France and Germany. The 40/1 shot was trained by Nigel Tinkler, whose father Colin effectively rewrote the rules on syndication, with Full Circle, which at one…
Doncaster St Leger meeting Day 3
The long and complicated story of Phoenix Thoroughbreds is a million miles from being either understood or fully exposed. It involves a Bulgarian-based crypto-currency Ponzi scheme, the FBI, a man called Amer Abdulaziz Salman, who owns various companies that have the word Phoenix attached to them, a lawyer called Scott, (part of whose testimony ran…
Donny St Leger Day 2
A poor start to the morning with an unexpected trip to somewhere miles away with an equally unexpected bill; an unplanned detour to another place less far, but as tiresome; the failing computer not improving; but luckily, I suppose, some resolution to the burning question “Why are we spending £2,000 a day on feeding the…
Doncaster’s Leger meeting Day 1 TV Races
The twilight of the Flat season is creeping in, with talk about the Arc and Melbourne Cup betting markets, and emails containing the words “Breeders Cup” become increasingly prevalent. The chill draught of a disappearing summer; ground that veers between motorway and bog; handicap marks receiving their annual dusting off, all suggest that “The Sticks”…
Racing Tips, F1 Tips, Tips fromthe US of A – when am I going to jog?
A profitable day yesterday thanks to JUAN LES PINs winning at 11/1 and watching a rerun of his cracking race will set you up nicely for the rest of the day. Jeepers, that Tom Marquand is good. Over in the increasingly tense world of Formula 1, we saw the departure of Sir Frank Williams and…
An acceleration of the inevitable
This post’s title was contained within an interesting article on the ecosystem in which pubs, clubs, restaurants, breweries and landlords all have to live. With around 30% of pubs and bars still shut, and with some experts suggesting 20% of pubs will not survive the next six months, the article suggested that the pubco ecosystem…
The dangers from Covid are far greater than being ill
I feel sorry for jockey Ben Curtis, who has been publically hauled over the coals as he scrabbles to earn a crust out of a single ride at – and being ejected from – Newmarket by the Thomson and Thompson Twins. Tintin’s comic book heroes always displayed a sense of self-righteousness that however commendable nearly…
York Ebor Day 4 – The Road to Damascus in a combination forecast
While the power went off and on and my desktop went tonto, I had time yesterday to reflect on how one might have done better this week. Sure we had a cracking start, yes we tipped some winners, yes we’re in profit – but that is mainly because we headed down the “exotics” avenue and…
York Day 3 – and Alastair Down in love again
The world turns in a curious circle. On the tipping front yesterday, there was the inevitable correction from the excesses of the first day and we had two wins, two seconds and a fourth, shedding ten hard-earned points from our profit. I was distracted, however, by news during the day that one of the KVT…