It was a day when the Shortlist produced 3 winners and the final selections looked like after-thoughts. Mark you, much of the day was lost to trying to decipher a set of NHS instructions in order to take two tests, in order to gain access to Ascot. What is it about all Government communications that…
Tips
Ascot Day 3
Work raises its ugly head and delays matters, while winking at me from the sideboard are the 227 tests I have to take before Friday’s big adventure. But first, we must continue our labours against the bookies and, as labours go, yesterday went pretty well. We’re showing a 30pt profit for the meeting so far,…
Ascot Day 2
Sometimes you have days when God leaps out of bed and says “Here I am – and because you have recently been less of an arse than normal, I have decided you shall have a good day.” So you go for lunch with old friends and see a chum you haven’t seen for five years…
For a brief moment we all became Christians
Thanks to the Welsh, the first score draw arrived on Saturday, while I travelled back from Newmarket, having spent the morning with William Knight and the boys from Kennet Valley Thoroughbreds. We were taking pictures of their new branded racing kit, KVT having secured a decent sponsorship deal with the fast-growing pub company, Oakman Group…
A weekend off perhaps with some Turkish Delight
I find myself heading to Newmarket on business, and on the instructions of the Plantagenet Herald, I am obliged to leave at such a time and in such a manner as will get us to three very important shops en route that sell things I didn’t know we needed. My day is thus curtailed and…
The Derby
While that wretched Liberal-wet, Green-belt-destroying PM has failed to make 4th June a National Holiday, (he’s always looked like he’d have been happier at Harrow), I cannot hold him responsible for the slow start to my Feast Day. No man can start such a day with no brekker, a mug of tea and a dash…
The denuded antepost list and how to pull Elle Macpherson
Endless numbers of “stars” and “celebrity doctors” keep insisting that for me to be well, I must be happy. For me to be happy I must… and there then follows on TV, a horrific list of things one must buy, achieve or obtain, depending on the time of day. Much of it appears to have…
A glance through the news and a no-brainer punt
I glance through today’s papers and I find myself in despair at being the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me a bad person, or just mad? Naomi Osaka won’t win. A broader debate will follow. Somebody will use the words “white”, “middle-aged”, and “male” out of context and irrelevantly. Prince Harry…
Lord Tissue of Reputation in Tattersalls offers an apology…
Recently it has become obvious that our reputation here at Raceweb Towers for providing honest and scrupulously researched racing tips, political opinions, and other racing-related material has been tainted by a series of corporate failures. Unbeknownst to me as the Chief Executive in the days before my much-deserved ennoblement, it transpires that we did not…
Why we should be worried about both Boris and my tipping?
This week, somebody mentioned Prorogation on the radio and I started to reflect on the Supreme Court’s ruling in 2019, which found that BJ’s decision to advise Her Majesty to prorogue Parliament was unlawful, because it had the effect of frustrating or preventing the ability of parliament to carry out its constitutional functions. Therefore the…
If it’s BBC4 – it must be Eurovision?
Well, there’s unusual. BBC4 now regards The ESC as Art and I am wholly in admiration of Graham Norton, whose contracts seems to allow him to cover the Eurovision Song Contest for any and everyone. BBC, Virgin, Bratislavan WNK1 – anyone. He makes McEnroe at Wimbledon look like a sloth on Ketamine. Anyway, the money…
The Results To Date (July’19 – May ’21)
It’s been a while since I did this exercise, but like everyone else, I’m blaming galloping inertia, the absence of incentives, my parents who failed to disassociate their pain, and a sense of predestined failure. Taking advantage of the downtime of site maintenance, I have entered every outcome as accurately as possible, and I am…
Chips with everything. Huzzah!
This diet malarkey is doing my head in. I am obsessed with the numbers of Kcals (what was wrong with Cals?), and the difference between Carbs and Protein, (not a clue), and whether Dopamine or Thiamine are the same things. All I know is that every meal has to be recorded religiously, nay zealously on…
The Dante Meeting Day 2
Yesterday – I discovered appropriately today – was National Diary Day. In that vein, yesterday’s selections weren’t so appalling, but still, we were down a point for the day and all of it the 3l difference between the winner and Raymond Tusk at 40/1. I take no comfort in the words of one of my…
York’s Day 1 and welcome to the new Chairman
Stand by for another guff-fest from Ed “Woke” Chamberlain, where he waxes lyrical about the fact that A WOMAN is the Chairman of York Racecourse – the first in the history of The Knavesmire. “Extraordinary”. “What A Moment”. “The Glass Ceiling….” “Another step forward in equalising blah blah blah.” I am not such a royalist…
UPDATED: Rain-impacted selections revisited for Saturday
When I finally stepped down last night/this AM, I was soaked between office and bed. This morning, the going has changed and Lingfield is now as of 12:00 Soft – GS in places. The rain has only just stopped, and unless they have new drainage in, Lingfield tends to hold its water. Ascot is also…
It’s been a strange week. I tried to get involved at Chester but several working challenges presented themselves, so I didn’t. Obs, I kept up with the trials, but I have struggled to get excited about what I have seen so far, in terms of Derby contenders and even my ante-post High Definition started to…
The 1000 Guineas – and a Thank You
I know, I know. I was going to take a day off. But lying abed, feeling sorry for oneself, only works for so long, and besides, I also sensed the Raceform and Timeform race readers were gathering over the video reruns of my life. I could feel them polishing off the racing suffixes to be…
The 2000 Guineas – Punchestown Day 5 – Jab 2
For those of you eagerly anticipating the tips for Day 4 of Punchestown, I’m afraid I was laid low by Jab 2 and am not much better today. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am “cream-crackered”. Every one of my joints feels as though it has actually been to the glue factory…
Punchestown Day 3 Pfizer Vaccine 2
Another day, another jab, so far so good. However, as days go this has so far been relentless. Over an hour to get to the Jab centre, thanks to enormous traffic works that could not have been done when no traffic was on the road. The Jab centre was hugely efficient and a big well…
Punchestown Day 2 and the race that never was.
At the risk of sounding like a trainer, this is a difficult time of the year to get things right. Old stock is replaced with new, as muttering owners send their horses off in the truck to their new yard, (often sporting but not always racing), and the seasons change. Rare, because a tough and…
Punchestown Day 1 (and The Notts Oaks)
Over the next five days, we’ll see the lowering of the curtain on the Irish National Hunt season. We’ll see Rachel Blackmore trying to make up the four-race deficit that stands between her and Paul Townend in the race for the Championship and pretty well every day, there will be a race that decides future…
The last Huzzah of the Winter Game
The social whirl of dinners and drinks invitations this week suggested post-lockdown merriment is an unstoppable train. We have been flat out on the supper front this week. I suspect this has more to do with availability, or perhaps we are known for our huge wardrobe of sensible layered clothing. What I hope no one…
Kick-on Sunday
With the void left by Polly Dog and The Duke of Edinburgh, across our personal and national psyches, the unelected medical elite has decided to take back their rightful positions at the head of news coverage. The Pandemic Panjandrums are all plenists to their very fingertips and in their horror vacui, 4:01 pm on Saturday,…
Newmarket 3 Cheltenham 2
The tips for today’s TV racing are here. Very brief. Will explain more tomorrow.
Newmarket Day 2 Cheltenham April
What a lovely thing to see young Jack Mitchell power ahead yesterday in the 3:55. He was always a good little jockey even when a kid doing Shetland Grand National, but he has really become very stylish. I just happened to see his ride yesterday and he has a good pair of hands but more…
Lumme – It’s Newmarket and the Classic trials already!
The Golf was not horrendous and for a brief moment, I thought Hideki might falter, allowing Jordan a chance. However, like the coward that I am, I greened out at the end of the 2nd round, losing my favourite Korean Im in the cut, but with five going through to the final 36, I thought…
The Irish Grand National – a Galway view
If you want to protect your wealth, the Irish Grand National is a race best watched rather than a sensible betting opportunity. However, sensible is boring and it is much more fun to have a few small bets and hope that at least one of yours is in contention as they approach the last. The…
Easter Monday, Lockinge and Irish Craic
We didn’t start Easter thinking we’d be saying goodbye to Richard Johnson, who retires upright and walking, and capable of a new full and productive life. He has become a role model of sobriety, charm, sportsmanship and common sense – which we know because he has garnered universal acclaim from all quarters, on the news….
Putting the wheels back on the Gravy Train
Many of you will know the music of the much-inked Rag’n Bone Man, and especially his hit lament called “(I’m Only) Human”. A reviewer said of it, possibly in a desperate attempt to be republished in Private Eye’s Pseuds Corner; Rag’n’Bone man speaks for all of us when he expresses his guilt, sadness, and wanting…
AWT Championships? Hasn’t Jesus suffered enough on Good Friday?
Good Friday, and Europe is awash with Fiestas and Fetes celebrating Holy Week. It’s a time of year when I might reasonably consider that the seasons were changing and that I needn’t be in-country a moment longer. It’s a much-hackneyed phrase, but this year I really do get the feeling that “spring is in the…
They’re Off!
A two-parter this week – Tips and comment on Cheltenham. This first, though, as they’re almost OFF for the first day of the 2021 Flat season. Also The tips for The Dubai World Cup and the first race of the 2021 Grand Prix season. Talking of wheels almost certainly coming off, here is the tip…
Mothering Sunday, Cheltenham, Knackering Saturday
On my knees, despite eight hours of sleep and a working man’s breakfast. Only just midday, and I have already had a business meeting; given sound client advice; cocked-up the results of a Cheltenham tipping competition; accidentally kicked the dog and had the man with the angle grinder arrive to start some spring-time repointing and…
The Pharaoh of Galway breaks his quarantine to give his tips
The top Irish Tipster and irregular commentator for Raceweb, Peter O’Tool, aka The Pharaoh of Galway, has managed to smuggle out his Gold Cup day tips, from his quarantined quarters in Barbados. Having never missed a Gold Cup meeting before, his frustration at a constant diet of rum and pineapple, various types of Prawn, Snapper…
Cheltenham Day 3
With the sad inevitability of the unsinkable ship travelling at speed and an enormous stationary iceberg, I suspect my Cheltenham maybe gashed below the waterline. I tried to enthuse about Tiger Roll’s victory and Cheltenham five-timer, honestly. I was thrilled for Ms Blackmore, who isn’t a female but is a jockey. (Broadcaster please note). I…
Cheltenham Day 2
I have not yet had the chance to congratulate myself for tipping and Brian Harman for playing into his 3rd place in TPC. A 175/1 third, even for a shared place at a 5th odds means that to a £1 e/w LSP, we are +22 pts overall. The rest of my picks… buck up your…
Cheltenham Day 1
And they’re [almost] off…
A weekend view of The Cheltenham Festival
The girl in the picture is Elvira, whom I have mentioned ante scriptor. She turned up rather suddenly, refused coffee, and then said nothing, but threw furious glances at my unlit fag. I tried to tell her that I thought her top, though lovely, was possibly too chilly for racing. She simply scowled. That is…
This day and that Day.
The Augustinian, German theologian Martin Luther was known for his well-meant interference in early 16th-century religious beliefs, and his fanatical hatred of Jews, Catholics, Anabaptists, and all the other names on his very long list. He rewrote most of the published Catholic liturgical works in the vernacular, all of the Bible and even the Qu’ran….
Another quiet week with nothing on the news
You get weeks like that, don’t you? You can have month after month when the papers are full of horror stories, and the TV and radio stations spout doom and gloom every hour on the hour. A relentless montage of death, destruction and loss. Friends, neighbours, citizens, strangers all weeping and wailing, and all being…
My old gender-neutralised friend – and nobody even bothered to ask …..it?
Some of you will know that on Tuesdays, after tea, I often indulge in a spot of PR and Nowcomms, if only to keep the boot-fags in dubbin and the Crumpet-wallah in proper honey. Thus I am aware, because I hang with my crew and the kids, that all is not well down in the…
Bad Luck Ben and Jim – and good luck to us today.
The stupidest question ever asked of any sportsman, as their hopes, self-worth, future careers and personal reputation lie in tattered, bedraggled pieces in full view of a watching and sometimes, smirking world is: How does that feel? For Sir Ben Ainslie and his sponsor, Ineos owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe, that pile includes £110m of investment, the…
Samantha has just had to pop out…
A slightly ethereal conversation this morning with Madame, who posed the question: “Is it possible, that we might both have died from Covid, and that we have simply gone on as Ghosts in another dimension – unaware of our real state.” Furrowed in brow, I asked her if she was having a total meltdown. Of…
It’s either moss, or the green shoots of a comeback
It’s been a torrid few weeks on the punting front, and the whiff of ordure was beginning to clag these pages. However, like a small, elegant, spring-like springy thing, (think Fantasia’s Hippos dancing), I have sprung back into contention for this year’s Luckier than a Bat in a Chinese Laboratory Trophy. Yesterday we were 12+pts…
A reader writes…
Dear Sir Jim Ratcliffe, I don’t pay you to sit at home all day watching men playing in boats and then hitting tennis balls around in the blazing sun of the Antipodes, with TV pictures showing an apparently immune crowd sipping cocktails on the poop deck or whatever. It’s Saturday and I demand racing tips. …
Another 180 minutes I can never get back
If you have the opportunity and wherewithal to burn five pound notes then can I guide you to the most incomprehensible film I have ever seen, making Inception seem as complicated as an episode of Andy Pandy. That film is Tenet and it is a Bond’esque espionage thriller, focused on the weaponisation of Time Inversion…
Chicken jealousy raises its ugly head
Sadly this week saw the passing of Sam Vestey, who was a good man. We weren’t best buddies, but his huge skill with people was to make them think they might be. I knew him to talk to and to pass the odd hour with him and over the years he has on more than…
Crikey Bruce – that’s a bit rum
While Europe tries to remember its manners and its debt to others, and decides whether the subjugation of moral principle by political ideal merits such poor behaviour, I have to ask what on earth is going on in Oz, renowned for its incorruptible embracement of moral decency, culture, diversity and fair play? For almost a…
What a week. Enquiries galore and a huge 21st
There are only a few weeks every year or so, that make one pause for serious thought. There have been even fewer in lockdown because unless you got a can of paint out, it has been a case of plus ca change pretty well every day. This week was different. There was a change to…
The Pharoah’s views on today’s racing
The Pharoah of Galway offers his suggestions for today’s TV racing.